"Open Theists" are always looking for "open windows" so they can replace classic Theological works with really, really, really bad theology.
Case in point: Larry "Nine-Gallon" Boyd, a convicted cattle rustler, who now prefers to rustle "sheep".
Addendum: Two weeks after this photo was taken from the pastor's office at the Fifth Baptist Church of Stinkweed, Oklahoma, Larry was sentenced to twenty years of hard labor at a mayonnaise factory in Pettibone, North Dakota.
Bill Swanson (he likes to be called "Tex") was sick of his reformed pastor's theology so he challenged his Christian therapist to guess which leg was Armininan and which one was Calvinist - all this while straddling the therapist's 15th floor window...
Local bad boy Mild Bill Brody who happens to be Emergent Falls resident atheist recently broke into the local mega church (Community Life) to rip out the pages of any book that so much as said a word about the gospel. As you might have guessed all the Rick Warren, Tony Jones, Phylis Tickle, Doug Paggit and Rob Bell books were unharmed during his little escapade.
After his fame had spread with the publication of "The Cattle Driven Life", Pastor Hoot Gibbons had to exit the church from his study during the closing hymn.
Pastor Little Joe always liked to get creative with his sermon illisutrations. Here he is acting out part of the thief sneaking into the sheepfold by another way, for his sermon from JOhn 20. Unfortunately he was unaware that a young Sally McBeal was visiting that morning, as she usually attended the Unfed Church of the Vegetarian. Sally was last seen weeping and wailing and crying something about murdering chaps.
"Open Theists" are always looking for "open windows" so they can replace classic Theological works with really, really, really bad theology.
ReplyDeleteCase in point:
Larry "Nine-Gallon" Boyd, a convicted cattle rustler, who now prefers to rustle "sheep".
Addendum:
Two weeks after this photo was taken from the pastor's office at the Fifth Baptist Church of Stinkweed, Oklahoma, Larry was sentenced to twenty years of hard labor at a mayonnaise factory in Pettibone, North Dakota.
Bill Swanson (he likes to be called "Tex") was sick of his reformed pastor's theology so he challenged his Christian therapist to guess which leg was Armininan and which one was Calvinist - all this while straddling the therapist's 15th floor window...
ReplyDeleteAlvin Arminius realized too late that he was dressed only half way in sheep's clothing.
ReplyDeleteTex "The Arminian Cowboy" Smith was finally able to sneak into the secret lair of John Macarthur by finding an open window.
ReplyDeleteComing soon to a theatre near you:
ReplyDeleteElmer E. Eutychus' Revenge
Although the Gospel has the power to turn a bad cowboy from his thievin' ways, Super Glue on the window sill also works.
ReplyDeleteLocal bad boy Mild Bill Brody who happens to be Emergent Falls resident atheist recently broke into the local mega church (Community Life) to rip out the pages of any book that so much as said a word about the gospel. As you might have guessed all the Rick Warren, Tony Jones, Phylis Tickle, Doug Paggit and Rob Bell books were unharmed during his little escapade.
ReplyDeleteAfter his fame had spread with the publication of "The Cattle Driven Life", Pastor Hoot Gibbons had to exit the church from his study during the closing hymn.
ReplyDeleteThese pants chose me!
ReplyDeleteHowdie! I hear there is a new born Baby here?!
ReplyDeletePastor Little Joe always liked to get creative with his sermon illisutrations. Here he is acting out part of the thief sneaking into the sheepfold by another way, for his sermon from JOhn 20. Unfortunately he was unaware that a young Sally McBeal was visiting that morning, as she usually attended the Unfed Church of the Vegetarian. Sally was last seen weeping and wailing and crying something about murdering chaps.
ReplyDeleteMe? No. I'm not suspicious, I just wanted to watch you offering counters work from a different angle.
ReplyDeleteHowdy Ma'am, I'm Jake. Did I just hear you quote Romans 9:13 ?
ReplyDelete