Don't cry Jesse I promise after I help pastor Finney put up his tent I will come straight home! It won't be like last year but every time I tried to run down the aisle for the alter call that Calvinist in the back row would trip me! so you see I had to bust that chair on his head!
"Now now my dear. Don't cry for Dr. James White. He just couldn't go toe to toe with Dr. Michael Brown and it while it hurts, we can recover from this." Woman cries, "No we can't! Dr. Brown NEVER loses a debate!"
I know dear it is hard to listen to Dr. Brown answer questions about the tenses and Greek grammar with the same old “but the whosoever verses James the whosoever”. I know it is a feeble attempt dear but it is all Dr. Brown has. I was certain that we were gonna hear Norm's allegory about the farmer and the no swimming sign next!
Calm yourself, dear--I know how tragic it is for you to lose that Amazon bid for 'Against Calvinism', but it was not God's sovereign will for that. Calm yourself, calm your self..........
Ronald: "I know it's painful, dear, to learn that our little Jenny has become Amyraldian. But take comfort in the fact that at least she's not Semi-Pelagian."Helen: "But we taught her better. How could she? Where have we gone wrong?"
"How can I have lost the village spelling bee by not knowing how to spell 'propitiation,' James? And to some itinerant preacher named Finney? What shall I do? Reverend Cardwell just preached on 1 John 2:2 last week! What shall I do?"
Golly, Miss Molly, don't be so distraught! You must realize the Johnny became a Calvinist by his own free will. I know what we will do; we will gather a number of our Arminian friends and pray that God will change his mind, and he will rejoin us.
She couldn't believe her dear son would make such a request for Christmas. Didn't he know that he would shoot his eye out?