Nowadays, in theological debates, if your opponent gets the better of you with sound arguments, you hit him with your best ad hominems. In the 18th century they used more persuasive tactics.
*"Give me Rushdoony’s The Cure of Souls.......... Or give me death!"
*Thoughtfully, Jonas Arminius gazed at the gun in Owen Boston’s hand. What if he WAS predestined to pull that trigger? Well, Jonas had the free will to become a Calvinist if he chose!
*“Nay, ye scalawag! I’m not a blatant Arminian as ye are, and I feel my trigger finger predestined to button yer lapels fer sayin’ that about me Calvin’s Institutes!”
*“Read……Calvinistic…………Cartoons.”
*Arian Pelagius was about to recant his fealty to Finney’s theology on the sufficiency of man.
*“So yer, a Pelagian, are ye? Then you agree that I am basically good to convince you otherwise?”
*Give me one Scripture verse that supports you plundering ships. No, I don’t want to hear “God told me”, I want chapter and verse-even out of context will do!”
*“Oh, really? You think it was wrong for yer men to burn Benny Finney’s blog to the ground, do you? Well, Captain Pelagius, I think they were basically good to do that, because they saw how totally depraved it made you to read it!”
Sir you must recant your free will believe at once or it shall be my will to free this ball from my pistol! and if I should do so you are then free to willfully dodge the ball, but me thinks you to not be nearly fast enough to escape it!
"Do ye want to follow in the footsteps of Servetus? Then ye best take back what ye said about John Calvin! Ye hear me?"
ReplyDeleteGo ahead, predestine my day.
ReplyDeleteAye Captain. I think I see your point. Have ye another volume of Rushdooney?
ReplyDeleteGive me one good reason why you won't buy da book.
ReplyDeleteI'm only going to ask this once, I tells ya.
Persis took mine, which was
ReplyDelete"I SAID, Buy da book!"
Nowadays, in theological debates, if your opponent gets the better of you with sound arguments, you hit him with your best ad hominems. In the 18th century they used more persuasive tactics.
ReplyDelete*"Give me Rushdoony’s The Cure of Souls..........
ReplyDeleteOr give me death!"
*Thoughtfully, Jonas Arminius gazed at the gun in Owen Boston’s hand. What if he WAS predestined to pull that trigger? Well, Jonas had the free will to become a Calvinist if he chose!
*“Nay, ye scalawag! I’m not a blatant Arminian as ye are, and I feel my trigger finger predestined to button yer lapels fer sayin’ that about me Calvin’s Institutes!”
*“Read……Calvinistic…………Cartoons.”
*Arian Pelagius was about to recant his fealty to Finney’s theology on the sufficiency of man.
*“So yer, a Pelagian, are ye? Then you agree that I am basically good to convince you otherwise?”
*Give me one Scripture verse that supports you plundering ships. No, I don’t want to hear “God told me”, I want chapter and verse-even out of context will do!”
*“Oh, really? You think it was wrong for yer men to burn Benny Finney’s blog to the ground, do you? Well, Captain Pelagius, I think they were basically good to do that, because they saw how totally depraved it made you to read it!”
Wow! You have just earned the title, "Caption Queen"!
ReplyDeleteWell, I thought of leaving them all in seperate comments, but why bother. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou can shoot all you like. I will only die if it is the Lord's will!
ReplyDelete"One more crack about John Owen and you'll get to meet him."
ReplyDeleteSir you must recant your free will believe at once or it shall be my will to free this ball from my pistol! and if I should do so you are then free to willfully dodge the ball, but me thinks you to not be nearly fast enough to escape it!
ReplyDelete"Remember that old saying about people whose theology is as straight as a gun barrel and just as dead? Huh? HUH?!?!? Waddaya think NOW?"
ReplyDeleteA.W. Pink (left) to Spurgeon (right): I don't care what that globe sitting next to you suggests - this gun says "world" means "church."
ReplyDeleteYou scurvy Amrinians always be bringing a sword to a gun fight.
ReplyDeletePut that knife away, Martin. I swear, if you carve one more epitaph into a table I will end you. It's like I can't take you anywhere! - Ulrich Zwingli
ReplyDelete