"Well, sir, if they won't let us wear blue apparel into Michigan prisons as a volunteer, then gee willikers, you can take your prison ministry and....whoa....whoa. Almost became a carnal Christian there. Whew."
Well, folks, here we are at the Arminian's Anonymous meeting....there seems to be a large crowd gathering for this shoot......Believe me, folks, these people aren't here from their free choice. They were predestined.
Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I would like to quote, from memory, Jonathan's Edward's famous sermon, "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God."
Yes Pastor I have a question about free will but can you get down I find it very distracting to talk while you are standing on that stump and standing on your hands.
Well Pastor Smitty I brought you this pen light, after hear you preach through Romans 9 it occured to me that you must not have enough light at the pulpit to read the words.
Hi everyone! I would just like to point out that, even though I am a Calvinistic Cartoons fan in the midst of an Arminian Antics staff meeting, I have toneless composure. Thank you.
@ the first anonymous commenter: LOL times 3, that's hilarious! I'm picturing Air-gun Caner standing in front of this group, on his hands, on a stump . . . can't stop laughing.
We find here a promotional poster for the updated version of Oliver Twist. The producer, Oliver Stone, commented that the original was such a downer, what with all the dirty orphans and such.
Despite the smile on his face, Johnny C. Alvin couldn't take it anymore when the pastor, Payle Gius, said that Charles Finney was the greatest pastor of all time from the pulpit. When Johnny stood up, the crowd looked on, anticipating a theological whipping.
Yes, My name is Edward Eddings. I thought I was here for a Calvinist Bible Study. I didn't realize this was an AMWAY meeting!
ReplyDeleteYes, I am a Fundamentalist Pastor, and I can't find Calvinist teaching in my KJV 1611.
ReplyDelete"Well folks, I've heard the arguments of the Calvinists and the Arminians, but it seems to me that the truth is somewhere in between."
ReplyDelete"Well, sir, if they won't let us wear blue apparel into Michigan prisons as a volunteer, then gee willikers, you can take your prison ministry and....whoa....whoa. Almost became a carnal Christian there. Whew."
ReplyDelete- Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so.
ReplyDelete- So [All]
Well, folks, here we are at the Arminian's Anonymous meeting....there seems to be a large crowd gathering for this shoot......Believe me, folks, these people aren't here from their free choice. They were predestined.
ReplyDelete[TULIP Television Network]
Man stands up: "Could I have your attention for just one second, please?...okay, thank you."
ReplyDeleteMan sits down.
Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I would like to quote, from memory, Jonathan's Edward's famous sermon, "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God."
ReplyDeleteYes Pastor I have a question about free will but can you get down I find it very distracting to talk while you are standing on that stump and standing on your hands.
ReplyDeleteWell Pastor Smitty I brought you this pen light, after hear you preach through Romans 9 it occured to me that you must not have enough light at the pulpit to read the words.
ReplyDelete@ Craig - I call that "Carminian"
ReplyDelete@ Marcus M. - I do believe I saw a clip of a preacher saying that. I think it was on the "Herman Who?" dvd that Todd Friel made.
Hi everyone! I would just like to point out that, even though I am a Calvinistic Cartoons fan in the midst of an Arminian Antics staff meeting, I have toneless composure. Thank you.
ReplyDelete"Sit down, you're rocking the boat."
ReplyDelete@ the first anonymous commenter: LOL times 3, that's hilarious! I'm picturing Air-gun Caner standing in front of this group, on his hands, on a stump . . . can't stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteWe find here a promotional poster for the updated version of Oliver Twist. The producer, Oliver Stone, commented that the original was such a downer, what with all the dirty orphans and such.
ReplyDeleteDespite the smile on his face, Johnny C. Alvin couldn't take it anymore when the pastor, Payle Gius, said that Charles Finney was the greatest pastor of all time from the pulpit. When Johnny stood up, the crowd looked on, anticipating a theological whipping.
ReplyDelete