Deacons Smyth and Wesson take their Heresy Hunting very seriously!
Here Wally, take these. I have a dozen more we can hand out before the offering. We have found that it increases giving by 86% and it will help during the invitation time also.
"Yes Spade, I did ask for suggestions for solving the problem of people sleeping during my sermons; but firing warning shots over their heads isn't the best idea."
The time for talk is over. So, the next time those "five pointers" show up here we'll see if they fare so well against these six shooters.
"When I said I wanted to use bullet points in my next sermon, Everett, this isn't what I meant."