Corky Velveeta had been missing for almost two weeks and were starting to think the worse. Wouldn't you know, he traveled into the past to meet Abraham Lincoln. He always admired his style and purchased a time machine on e-bay. He told us that the man on Lincoln's right came up to him a few minutes after this photo was taken, and said, "Cotton Adams was a Calvinist" thus securing a hefty one thousand dollar check from a bank that doesn't exist yet. Corky said that he was surprised that Abe was reading a book entitled, "Our American Cousin" then threw it into the fire. "I have no time for this tripe right now, I'll just wait for the play to come out!"
Corky said he was only able to remain in the past for twenty minutes because of the cheap quality of the time machine he bought. Twenty minutes translated into twelve days in our time!
Glad you are safe. Now on with your travels!