Bad News: Arminian Jerry Abernathy receives a cease and desist letter for soaking passing Calvinists with his garden hose.
I laughed so hard a cackle of hyenas knocked on my door to complain.
To say that Joel was disappointed upon receiving his sixth rejection letter to join the Lords army was a colossal understatement. After all he had done everything a man can do in order to commend himself to God's favor and it seem as though it would never be enough. But this time he would try even harder and surely this time the Lord would reward his efforts.
"Dear Valued Neighbor: The Community Church For Whosoever invites you and your family to join us on Saturday night at 7 p.m. for a Spiritual Celebration. We are 'Trans-Denominational' and embrace all faiths and creeds. *(No Calvinists, please)"
Following the TV Evangelist's instructions, Albert is prepared to baptize his home.
Solomon's Porch, a growing Holistic Missional Christian Community, was wondering if you had any used sofas you would like to donate?
Bobby reads pamphlet from local church plant in neighborhood...Bad News: Man is unfulfilled because of his lack of understanding of the godhood withinGood News: God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your lifeBobby responds, "This is great... I also love me and I have many wonderful plans for my life. Where is a communication card for me to sign?"
Hmmm....you know the prayer rug looked bigger on TV....and I don't remember anyone saying it would be made out of paper.