The Arminian's last resort in witnessing to his atheist neighbor.
The Fifth Baptist Church's Committee to Collect Vowed Tithes and Offerings pays a visit to Mr. Daws Lankinshire, a member who missed Church last week.
The angry mugger tracked down Jake, whom he had robbed earlier that same day. He had wondered why his victim seemed overly happy to hand over his money; that is, until a closer inspection revealed that the "money" was in reality a stack of "Million-Dollar-Bill" Gospel tracts.
Due to a lack of Sunday school teachers at the Fellowship of Perpetual Pew Warmers, the superintendent tried a new recruiting method.
Ok, When I open this door, you squirt these pesky mormons with the water pistol!!!
I told you we would audit. We expect our members to tithe on the gross, not the net! Get it right or next time I'll get extreme.