After having been shown that the history of Christian doctrine contradicted his soteriology at every turn, Clarence (a devoted follower of George Bryson, David Hunt, and David Cloud) decided that his best response was to destroy the opposition's evidence.
As a young Arminian Franklin Delano Roosevelt could often be found every evening muttering to himself his own brand of "name it, claim it" gibberish by a blazing fire even in the sweltering days of August. This would be the humble beginnings of what would later became known as his "fireside chats". As his theology continued to become increasingly recalcitrant he would make outrageous statements such as "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." even when Christ Himself clearly said
"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Matthew 10:28
Neville Chamberlain would enjoy spending his evenings by a roaring fire reading and burning letters from his new best buddy Adolf Hitler. However, he could never bring himself to burn the swastika embroidered throw-rug which was a personal gift from the Führer himself. After reading he would simply lay upon his rug and listen to his records of Joseph Goebbels explaining the history of the Christian Religion from the Aryan perspective against the backdrop of Wagner.
Ryan McLaren, the Grandfather of Brian McLaren, knew he could feel the heat of the fire but chose to deny its existence. This was the beginning of a great move to teach against the existence of Hell.
PeeWee Herman's father Abner, studied layouts for his failed Saturday morning kids show, then burned them. He had the misfortune of opening the same day Captain kangaroo did.
After having been shown that the history of Christian doctrine contradicted his soteriology at every turn, Clarence (a devoted follower of George Bryson, David Hunt, and David Cloud) decided that his best response was to destroy the opposition's evidence.
ReplyDeleteAs a young Arminian Franklin Delano Roosevelt could often be found every evening muttering to himself his own brand of "name it, claim it" gibberish by a blazing fire even in the sweltering days of August. This would be the humble beginnings of what would later became known as his "fireside chats".
ReplyDeleteAs his theology continued to become increasingly recalcitrant he would make outrageous statements such as "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." even when Christ Himself clearly said
"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Matthew 10:28
Neville Chamberlain would enjoy spending his evenings by a roaring fire reading and burning letters from his new best buddy Adolf Hitler. However, he could never bring himself to burn the swastika embroidered throw-rug which was a personal gift from the Führer himself. After reading he would simply lay upon his rug and listen to his records of Joseph Goebbels explaining the history of the Christian Religion from the Aryan perspective against the backdrop of Wagner.
ReplyDeletePre-Emergent Woodrow Wilson would often prostrate himself on his Prayer Maze casting his all his Presbyterian roots to the fire of Progressivism!
ReplyDeleteThe original Emergent House Church, complete with fire and all.
ReplyDeleteRyan McLaren, the Grandfather of Brian McLaren, knew he could feel the heat of the fire but chose to deny its existence. This was the beginning of a great move to teach against the existence of Hell.
ReplyDeletePeeWee Herman's father Abner, studied layouts for his failed Saturday morning kids show, then burned them. He had the misfortune of opening the same day Captain kangaroo did.
ReplyDelete