Short Story Challenge for Writers

I need a short short story, prose or poem using this illustration as the subject. Yes, that is me behind the helmet and Corky Velveeta in the landscape (...or is it?). The story chosen will be written in the white space within the illustration. The black space will hold the title and author's name. I can increase the white space for the copy but don't make it too long. Creativity, brevity and impact are the key ingredients. The winning story will be published separately on May 30, 2012. Thanks everyone, and have fun!

The winner will have an asteroid in the Pinwheel Galaxy named after them!

The runners up will have half an asteroid named after them from the Howdy Doody Galaxy!

The absolute worst story (which we will never mention) will have a cubic inch of space given to them from the Garbage Dump Galaxy in sector 873!

Arminian Antics #64

Piranha and Kin

Oh, gentle Piranha
With mouth open wide
In your waters
There's no place to hide
Bite me on the foot
Bite me on the hand
In a matter of seconds I'll be butchered like a dead cow at a hyena convention

Oh, gentle heretic

With mouth open wide

In your waters

There is poison with each tide

Looking for a victim

Looking for your prey

You should look both ways before crossing the street

'Cause you're about to be hit by a mega-ton eighteen-wheeler with a five-point engine, Calvinistic style.

Calvinistic Cartoons Poetry Corner #2

Arminian Antics #41

Calvinistic Cartoons Poetry Corner

Write for Christmas

Here is a little ditty I wrote in December of 2008.

I hope this inspires you to write one yourself.

Make it your wish list or just a funny list.

Just stay on key...please...and if 

your voice warbles...

don't sing.

12 Days of Christmas (revised)

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS,
MY TRUE LOVE SENT TO ME
TWELVE COMMENTARIES,
ELEVEN CHRISTIAN MAGNETS,
TEN CD'S PLAYING,
NINE KINKADE PAINTINGS,
EIGHT MAPS OF JOPPA,
SEVEN BOOKS BY CALVIN,
SIX SPURGEON SERMONS,
FIVE... TU-LIP... RINGS,
FOUR CHRISTIAN MINTS,
THREE PINK BOOKS,
TWO BIBLE CUPS,
AND A COPY OF THE SOVEREIGNTY OF GOD!

Longfellow Poem Discovered

Here is a poem recently discovered in an old book at 

the Library of Congress by Nakoma Linkletter.

 

The Song of Finneyhaha

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

   On the shores of Gitche Gumee, 
by the crazy tent revival, 
Stood Charlie, the old preacher, 
Pointing with his finger westward, 
O'er the people pointing westward, 
To the purple clouds of sunset.
    Fiercely the red sun descending 
Burned his way along the heavens, 
Set the sky on fire behind him, 
As he posed with eyes a gleaming, 
   "I can create my own revivals, 
With repentance if I choose to, 
It's all about mathematics, 
Heaven blessed and automatic". 
So said Charlie while the sun set, 
With its glare upon his features.

Arminian Antics #27

Ode to Computer Generated Spurgeon

Man in the Iron Mask

The "Stark" reality is that Tony is now an iron-clad Calvinist!

Here he is on his way to help Eddie with his computer problems. As you can see, headquarters is located in a far away, distant place far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife. So, go gently into that good night, brave warrior, till the sun grows cold, and the stars are old, and the leaves of Judgment Book unfold. Or, as the snail, whose tender horns being hit, Shrinks backward in his shelly cave with pain, And there, all smother'd up, in shade doth sit, Long after fearing to creep forth again; As I wax poetic, I am reminded that I must needs wax my vehicle lest rust and ruin befall it.