Where can i get this pre-blessed food(hyperventilating)? My mega church will be excited we can cut out 5 minutes of prayer and get more time for motor cycle rides and pyrotechnics. Great man.
Not only is that funny, I wonder why TBN hadn't thought of it before? They are missing out on a marketing tool that can further suck the finances out of greedy and gluttonous pockets.
Ha!I agree with you, Gregg. If the TV hucksters can sell scraps of fabric that have been prayed over, why not a Twinkie?
I wonder if there are any job openings in the blessing department? (Not!)
Haha! I've seen that video before, on Wretched's YouTube channel...
If anyone is interested, I'm cutting out the middle man and selling a knock off version of the "Pre-Blessed" stickers. All you do is pray over the whole roll of stickers real quick, then stick them on all of the food around your house. This way, you can avoid having to laboriously "say grace" over each and every item or meal. Just stick on the stickers, and it's as good as praying over the food!Supplies are limited, call NOW! 1-800-BLESSED!Brought to you by your friends at Religion Is Us, where the motto is "Never say grace again!" Say it proudly 15 times for a special blessing.DISCLAIMERS: If "Pre-Blessed" stickers are accidentally eaten, call a poison control center immediately, or purchase one of our do-it-yourself resurrection kits. Pre-blessed stickers are not intended for use as a nasal decongestant, but the product has proven effective for removing warts.ALSO, FOR A LIMITED TIME: we are offering photocopies of real 16th Century indulgences. They are good for getting friends and family out of purgatory, missing church twice a week for the rest of your life, or having 99.9% of your own personal sins not held against you at the judgment. No other indulgences cover that many sins! They are only $7,000 a piece. Order today and don't miss this unique opportunity to participate in Church History!
Knock-off version? Hmm...well, maybe, if it's cheaper...
This brings to mind something that happened to me several years ago: I walked into a fellowship dinner late. I got my food, sat down, and gave thanks to God. Immediately afterward, the fellow sitting next to me said, "You didn't have to do that. We already blessed the food."
I like Mr. Ashton's sales pitch. Ha ha!