RebornMan's Day Off PART ONE"Today's gonna be a boring day," I tell TwiceBornDude confidently as we lounge in our living room, both sipping sweet tea grown in our garden."What makes you think that, RebornMan?" my sidekick inquires, shaking his head to ward off sleepiness."I just feel like this will be our finest hour...Of rest. And hopefully more than an hour.""Sounds good to me. Let's see what's on the telly!""Have you been talking too much with our Brit comrade again?""Maybe just a tad," he laughs, clicking on the giant device. "Oh, look - breaking news!""This just in: Pastor C.U. Later's niece is being held atop channel ten's signal tower, and it's reported his power is over nine thousand.""Nine thousand of what?!" a gruff voice demands."I don't know," the reporter replies. "Those were his words!""The villain calls himself Fenny Binney - a play on the name of famous Arminian, Benny Finney. We have him in studio for comments. Over to you, Sam.""Thanks, Bob. Benny, what are your thoughts on this man -"SQUIRT! "Sorry about that," the white-faced man apologizes, adjusting a plastic flower on his polka dot jacket. "Watch out for the hat.""Uh...Well, I've never had that happen before.""As I was saying: this is simply awful! I mean, I don't like Calvinists anymore than the next guy, but they just need theological whoopings, that's all. So I'm very dismayed. If my grandfather, Charles Finney, was still around, he would whoop this guy into next week!""Thank you, Mister Finney. We'll be sure to check in with you again later."Sighing as I utter a prayer, I wipe my hand over my face. "Exos."TwiceBornDude nods. "Exos!"-"They'll never find me here," Fenny Binney cackles, his pretty Calvinist captive slung over his shoulder as he scales the rungs of the signal tower. "With my impenetrable D.A.I.S.Y. exoskeleton, I am invincible! Muhahahaha! Soon I will destroy CalvinistVille, and take out its most nefarious pastor!""Give it up, Binney," a police helicopter blares, unable to do anything just yet. "You don't stand a chance.""Oh, I think I do!" he laughs, continuing his ascent. "With my D.A.I.S.Y. suit, I am invincible! INVINCIBLE! I BUILT THIS WITH MY OWN FREE WILL, SUCKER!""What does D.A.I.S.Y. even stand for?""Dandy Arminian Invincible Suit of Yahooness!""Did you just make that up on the spot?""It's extremely scientific! Now shut up, Calvinist, I've got some climbing to do!"-
PART TWO"This guy makes Benny Finney look like Leonard Ravenhill," TwiceBornDude groans as we fly through the city, invisibility on. "We're really gonna need some sovereignty here, Reborn!""Just like always. But I've got a plan: if his suit is D.A.I.S.Y., then our T.U.L.I.P. blasters may do the trick...""What does that even stand for?""Dandy Arminian Invincible Suit of Yahooness," the police chief of our fine city answers. "He said he didn't come up with it on the spot, but I'm not so sure. By the way, what does T.U.L.I.P. stand for?""Totally Unbelievable Ludicrously Impossibly Powerful.""I like that. As long as it's on our side, I'm fine with it!""Should do the trick," I respond. "Keep praying for us, chief! I see your copters - almost there!""You got it!""He's almost to the top, RebornMan," my friend declares, readying his blasters. "Let's see if we can use this invisibility to our advantage...""Good idea. I'll stay at the bottom in case he drops her - you stay near the top.""On it. Let's go!""Give it up and you'll get a fair trial," a police copter states, hovering near the criminal."Not if you can't see me!" he chortles, disappearing - and dropping the pastor's niece."Fire, TwiceBornDude, fire!" I yell, shooting a padded forcefield around me as I rush for the young woman. "Gotcha!""GOTCHA!" TwiceBornDude yells, the D.A.I.S.Y. suit bursting into smoke and flames and falling, falling, falling - until it's netted by my sidekick."A job well done, boys," the chief congratulates. "Thank God that's over!""Not bad for a couple of Calvinists," Benny Finney grumbles softly in the background."Not bad at all, eh?" TwiceBornDude laughs, us air-fiving each other. "Especially for a day off!""Not bad at all," I reply, smiling. "Not bad at all..."
Wow, that turned out quite long. X-D