CONVERSATION OVER THE BREAKFAST TABLEMother: Is nothing sacred? Poor old Angus, snatched making sandwiches!Dad: I told Angus to be careful; the neighborhood’s been running rampant with Free-willers of late.Son: I didn’t know killer whales swam anywhere around here?!?!Dad: Not Free-Willy, Jr., Free-willers; you know, Arminians and Pelagians; and son, don’t eat with your hands, use your sword and trowel.Mom: Well, shouldn’t we look for him?Dad: That’s just what they’d expect us to do. You know that the Hybels’ across the street, and the Warren’s down the block, have been looking for any reason to flaunt seeker-sensitivity in our faces. No, my dear, I think, as good Biblical Calvinists, we need to fast and pray until we’re set apart by the Holy Spirit for the work of finding Angus.Son: But dad, he’s not lost; he’s missing.Dad: You’re right, son. Then you go close the pen to leave the ninety-and-nine sheep here; and mother, you come with me once I get my rod and staff. Let’s go.
Possible Strange Sighting?A possible lead in the Duncan missing persons case! A source close to family has confirmed the existence of a ransom note that was emailed to the local newspaper that included an apparrent image of Angus bound and gagged in front of a "Leadership Network Subway!". An anonymous witness has hinted that Duncan may have been lured into his captivity by a misleading advertisement for "Sandwich Artist wanted for sacred convention of Green Global Windbag Warmers/Ice Agers."
How weird to look up from eating my Calvinistic Flakes at breakfast and see myself staring at me from the side of my milk carton!I appreciate the creative theories on my whereabouts, but the reality is quite boring. Work has taken its toll on my Sandwich output, but I think that Eddie is putting out enough hilarious material for the both of us.Keep up the good work, Eddie. I may not be noticed, but rest assured I visit Calvinistic Cartoons almost every day for my dose of insane sanity.