Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Hey! Hey! We're the Arminians!


The above Monkees Theme is the inspiration
for the new Arminian Theme song
written by that famous Arminian composer, Elvis Wesley:

Here we come
Walking down the street
We get the funniest looks from
The Calvin-ists we meet.

Hey, hey we're Arminians,
'Cause we say the sinner's just sick.
And we're too busy giving,
Those tracts made by Jack Chick.


We're just trying to be friendly,
Look at our ear-to-ear smile.
It's a Finney gener-ation,
We'll help you walk that aisle.

Hey, hey you're just wounded,
Not dead like the Calvinists say.
Decide to be-lieve and you're ready,
God will always meet you half-way.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Eddie's Advice Column #2

Dear Eddie,
In your "Restaurant" post you mentioned "vomit". That is just too disgusting for a Christian blog. What's wrong with you? Do you think that's funny or something? Aren't you supposed to be an example to our youth and the people who work in finance? You make me sick with your moronic humor. Even if the Bible mentions "vomit" I don't think YOU should bring it up! I didn't mean that last statement as a pun...I just couldn't contain myself. You spew this kind of mess and expect ME to become a follower? I wouldn't follow you if you were going to Jack in the Box for a free spicy chicken sandwich and a coke!
Love,
Myrtle Floy-Floy

Dear Myrtle,
Why the dramamine? I can't please everyone y'know! I throw up my hands! ...and you know how painful THAT can be. My advice to you is to cut down on the caffeine and relax a little. Then eat an entire box of Ho-Ho's and a bowl of spinach. Jog in place for fifteen minutes...who knows what will come up after that.
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