Just as Chuck "Wagon" Finney came through the door, John "Li'l Geneva" Calvin drew his Smith & Wesson Romans revolver (caliber 9.16) and gunned him down where he stood. The pastor and his wife were saved to preach reformed doctrine throughout the Old West.
How is that for predestination ya dang Calvinistic varmint!
The Richard Dawkins Band of Outlaws turn on their leader in their fight for recognition and leadership. It will now be known as the Tex Snyder Band of Outlaws for at least another day or so.
Eutychus! You can't die if you only fall through the door! Get upstairs!
The simple folk of Finney Creek were set in their ways and hard work was all they knew. They had never heard of "Reformed theology" before, but when the new preacher from Dort Hollar talked about it, they were sure they didn't like it. Needless to say, they took up the task of removing the poor preacher permanently.
Yet again, R. Minion trips over a tulip while trying to stomp it and is caught by Sherriff Calvin's posse.
Kevin, Mike, Moe, both Jims and The Blainemonster, each one of you deserve the CC Comedy Caption Award for this week. These all made me laugh to the point where paramedics had to be called in.
The Calvinist gang - Archie Sprawl, Juan Pepper and Caroline "Ma" Haney - waited with their guns drawn as an Arminian approached their hideout. Pepper's warning shot went unheeded, but their would be rival - Rod "Jerry" Olsen - accidentally shot himself in the foot and tumbled harmlessly to the ground. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked.
Archie Sprawl - LOL! Love that Calvinist gang!
Didn't get Derek Ashton's at all until I read it out loud. LOL!
The churchmen took out there new pastor after giving him the traditional test of having him recite Calvin’s Institutes backwards. His miserable failure proved him an Arminian, and unfit for leadership in the church.
excuse me, I must correct myself...."THEIR new pastor"ahem. thank you.
There are some neighborhoods where door-to-door witnessing is just plain tough business.
Jedediah Smith, the local Jehovah's Witness, was injured today when he tried to shove his way into Francis Calvin's cabin. Apparently he got distracted when Parson Johnson quoted to him from Scripture that God did indeed have only one begotten Son. Mrs. Johnson kindly put bactine on Smith's scraped knee and gave him a cookie.