The rumors were true: Alice's brother really did throw a pie at John Calvin when he went back in time.
I have a Calvinistic size migraine from listening to too much Arminian noise pollution at the pot-luck supper.
Please call the doctor, my dear. This Calminian diet I've started is giving me a bad case of cognitive dissonance.
Seems Drag Queen Sunday did not go over with the Elders!
"She's Southern Baptist and doesn't have John 3:16 memorized?!"
That was Alicia. I'm sorry, my dear, but she's marrying that Arminian boy she brought to meet us at Christmas. Try to be brave.
Now wait, let me think - oh yes, he said "You surely shall not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil"... and, well, that's the reason for this hideous dress...