Write a paragraph or two using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.
( just so there are no mistakes -the words are germs, smoke, movie and ear plugs )
Arma: This movie you have invited me to is merely a smoke-screen for a Calvinist indoctrination!
ReplyDeleteCal: SMOKE – Silly Movie Outlining Kingdom Evangelism. So I would say, Yes!
Arma: Well, I came prepared with my anti-Calvin earplugs! So there.
Cal: Rats! She got GERMS! (Great for Evading Reformed Movie Sermons)
Arma: (Evil laugh) Thought you had me! But you underestimate me again!
The Case of the Delusional Doctor of Doom
ReplyDeleteI was on the case, in Doctor von Cleaver's kitchen; hiding in the pantry. Smoke came from the cigarette the doctor (that's ironic, isn't it?) was partaking of, while he stood at a sink, vigorously washing his hands.
"Sir, what is wrong with you...?" a servant, a bit too bluntly, inquired.
"I am trying to wash alll of these Calvinistic germs off of me, you slime!" he screamed, dropping his cigarette into the sink. "GAH! OH NO! GAH NO! NO!"
I noticed that the servant shook his head, and left the room quickly, muttering about going to watch a movie, and how he needed to wear ear plugs more often...
"Soon, Mister Holmes..." hissed the insane doctor. "Soon, soon you will be in my grasp...And I will wring your puny little neck..."
Creak! I accidentally pushed the pantry door forward, which had only been slightly cracked before, making the doctor aware that something was going on...
"A Calvinist?!" he screamed, ending his ridiculous hand-washing ritual. "GAH! JOHN 3:16! JOHN 3:16! John 3:16! JUST AS I AM WITHOUT ONE PLEA..."
As he continued babbling, Jason Gray's More Like Falling In Love started up, causing me to wince all the more.
"How do you like my Calvinist defense system, you slime?!" screeched von Cleaver, jumping up and down, shouting John 3:16. "And there's MORE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER AND WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!!!"
Gasping for air, I started repeating verses from Romans nine and Ephesians one, then dashed out of the closet, my phone playing Stuart Townend's In Christ Alone loudly. The battle had begun!
Entertainment-driven Pastor: Now that you've enjoyed the germs, smokebombs, and fire from our praise band...take out your earplugs, sit back and enjoy this week's movie "When Harry Met Sally" and Happy Easter!
ReplyDeleteEnglish Teacher: For homework write an essay containing the words "germs, smoke, movie and ear plugs"
ReplyDeleteStudent: Is that possible?
English Teacher: Probably not, but if while trying you miss tonight's episode of "Arminian Idol" it will have been worth it. And ... copying off Calvinist Cartoons is plagiarism and will get you an "F".
(QED)
Good work, mates!
ReplyDeleteRadio Announcer: Good evening, boys and girls! It's time for another episode of Emergent Man
ReplyDeleteIt was a typical night at Amoeba Church. Smoke from cheap incense filled the room. The plaintiff sounds of Joni Mitchell and Barney mingled in the background. The topics of this evening's conversation were "The Spiritual Significance of the movie Thomas the Tank Engine as a Metaphor for the Knowinglessness of God" and "Does the Presence of Hand Sanitizer Stations Discriminate Against Those With Germs?"
All was going swimmingly when suddenly the door burst open.
It was Trey. We hadn't seen him for weeks. But hey, that was cool because community is all about love, sushi, and no pressure.
But something was different about him. There was a strange light in his eyes, and he was holding a book in his hand. It wasn't just any book, it was
Why We're Not Emergent!
Suddenly the warning siren went off. We quickly grabbed our emergency earplugs and stuffed them in our ears to silence his voice. Our leader ran to the window and turned on the distress beacon.
This was a job for Emergent Man!
Faster than a molting armadillo,
More powerful than a freshly crushed clove of garlic,
Able to string 20 questions in a single breath and still be incoherent...
It's Emergent Man!
Will our hero be able to save this conversation? Will he be able to save Trey from those dreaded thinking Calvinists? Will he be able to make his special soy espresso latte with a twist of tofu?
Stay tuned for the exciting ending, boys and girls, while we have a word from our sponsors...
Urgent Announcement!
ReplyDeleteCalvinist Alternative Theater Pandemic? Is Arson Involved?
The movie theater in Free Ville has been shut down due to a widespread spread of germs on the earplugs provided for the Arminian crowd at a Calvinistic feature. There was word that smoke was coming out of the reel room and the Martin Luther film was damaged beyond repair. We are suspecting the germs were a ploy for arson against the Calvinistic Alternative Theater.
Stay tuned, Cal Luther reporting.
Correction:
ReplyDeletePlaintive not plaintiff, as neither Barney nor Joni were on trial. :-)
@Persis: "The topics of this evening's conversation were "The Spiritual Significance of the movie Thomas the Tank Engine as a Metaphor for the Knowinglessness of God" and "Does the Presence of Hand Sanitizer Stations Discriminate Against Those With Germs?" "
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha!!!
It just doesn't get any better than this folks...good times...good times...
ReplyDelete