My husband wanted to look like Charles Haddon Spurgeon, so he grew himself a beard. Then, he just got lazy and wouldn't trim it. He just let it grow and grow. Now his beard is so big and bushy that I have to kiss him through a straw. What can I do about it?
Your loyal fan,
Dear Mrs. Laganza,
You can just be patient and wait. It might grow on you after a while...or, you can let him know that Beards A'Plenty pays ten dollars for every foot of beard. They have a ministry to the beardless somewhere in Idaho...if all else fails, you could take Biblical measures and let him fall asleep on your lap. Then do the trimming yourself.
Thanks for the letter,