Recently discovered in an empty pickle jar at Graceland's basement were a number of songs Elvis rewrote.
"He had intended to record another Christian album before he died", said Bebe Swanliver, a guide at the Graceland estate.
"We think this would have stopped his backsliding", Pastor Joe Bob Penman said as he wept and drank an entire two liter bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red.
Here is the list of songs he wanted on his Christian album entitled,
"No More Hellvis, Just Call Me Elvis":
You Ain't Nothin' But a Lost Dude
It's Now or Never, Heaven Can't Wait
Return You Sinner
Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On (written specifically for the Shakers)
All Shook Up (written specifically for the Quakers)
I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas (for coal miners)
In The Bible (and his momma cried)
That's When Your Dispensation Begins
Woncha Wear That Cross Around Your Neck
Amazing Grace (sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island theme song)
What's with this Gilligan's Island thing?
ReplyDeleteYou aint nothin but a lost dude
ReplyDeleteFrying all the time
You aint nothin but a lost dude
Frying all the time
Well you never trusted Christ it seems
And you aint no saint divine
Whey they said you was the king
Well, that was just a crock
When they said you was the king
Wellm that was just a crock
You aint never been saved by trace
And you aint no saint divine
what is with my spelling? I meant well, in the fourth line and I meant grace not trace in the 5th line.
ReplyDeleteI suppose, one day soon, they'll be playing these songs as NewSpring, or Granger, or any number of other hip/cool/relevant "churches."
ReplyDeleteAs I understand it, this album contained the Arminian classic Return to Sinner.
ReplyDelete