The best things happen while your dancing. You become entranced with the Holy Ghost at our church of God. While dancing, soon becomes faith healing, when you hold a cloth in your hand you snatched from TBN.
"I am blessed! I am special! You know why? It's because I obey God and I pay my tithes! God is obligated to bless me 'cause I follow the formula of FAITH! And just look at my gorgeous trophy wife!
The Finkelsteins are welcomed into full membership of the Hard Rock Reformed & Presbyterian Church after sustaining a grueling six-hour interview by the elders. The interview involved a test of their knowledge of the entire Westminster Confession of Faith plus the deciding bonus question: "Was Loraine Boettner a man or a woman?"
Judging by the carefree looks on the faces of the Finkelsteins, my guess is that the interview was more grueling for the elders than for them. (The elders probably thought that Loraine Boettner was a woman.)
The best things happen while your dancing. You become entranced with the Holy Ghost at our church of God. While dancing, soon becomes faith healing, when you hold a cloth in your hand you snatched from TBN.
ReplyDeleteAh Vermont must be lovely this time of year - all those Calvinists...
ReplyDelete"Yes, but I feel the same way about my Cocker Spaniel."
DeleteHA! Great quote.
DeleteEverybody loves me because I'm an Arminian. Don't you want the Holy Ghost too? God hates those reprobate hating Calvinists!
ReplyDelete"I am blessed! I am special! You know why? It's because I obey God and I pay my tithes! God is obligated to bless me 'cause I follow the formula of FAITH! And just look at my gorgeous trophy wife!
ReplyDeleteThe Finkelsteins are welcomed into full membership of the Hard Rock Reformed & Presbyterian Church after sustaining a grueling six-hour interview by the elders. The interview involved a test of their knowledge of the entire Westminster Confession of Faith plus the deciding bonus question: "Was Loraine Boettner a man or a woman?"
ReplyDeleteHa! Stranger, Brilliant!
DeleteJudging by the carefree looks on the faces of the Finkelsteins, my guess is that the interview was more grueling for the elders than for them. (The elders probably thought that Loraine Boettner was a woman.)
Delete