Them folks down thar? Theys Calvinists, ever' las' one'o'vem. Das why we's got this here barbed wire fence here…to keep'em corraled, so's they don't get loose.
Yeah, this is the Pearly Gates. Not what you were expecting, huh? People don't believe that I am Saint Peter either, but I am, I tell ya. See that lake of fire, I mean glassy sea, I caught me a whopper there just yesterday.
Now, go over to those folks by the lake, I mean sea, and rejoice in yer Arminian ways. The harps are on backorder.
"We've been roundin' up all the Calvinists in town and puttin' 'em in here. Look at 'em over there. They keep using words like super-laps...an-ism - or, uh - try-purse...pursep...ive...peckiv - aw heck, what ever it is. They gotta be possessed, right with all that demon talk? You kin cast out them demons, can't ye, preacher?"
There's the hole over there. Ever since the prison hired that new Calvinist chaplain, the town's people have been tunneling under the fence to come hear him. They say that they've never heard Gospel sermons like this before.
"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ, that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you." I Cor 9:19-23
That there's the city of Sodom we told ya about. Have at 'em, preacher man.
ReplyDeleteThem folks down thar? Theys Calvinists, ever' las' one'o'vem. Das why we's got this here barbed wire fence here…to keep'em corraled, so's they don't get loose.
ReplyDeleteThey must be cage-stage Calvinists!
DeleteThey's all the Arminian folks penned up down thar. (See, dem dar frozen chosen don't need no fences, I reckon, um hum).
ReplyDeleteWe best go bring 'em the truth. You up fer it?
And that right there is where I saw that grenade, just a standin' there...smilin...had something written on it, something with a nine...
ReplyDeleteYeah, this is the Pearly Gates. Not what you were expecting, huh? People don't believe that I am Saint Peter either, but I am, I tell ya. See that lake of fire, I mean glassy sea, I caught me a whopper there just yesterday.
ReplyDeleteNow, go over to those folks by the lake, I mean sea, and rejoice in yer Arminian ways. The harps are on backorder.
See that spot there? yeah right there to the left, that is where Paul was beheaded. Ain't that awesome?
ReplyDeleteOkay now, all ya' gotta' do is get over the fence grab the KFC bucket and get back before the baptist realize whats hit 'em.
ReplyDeleteMan pointing "Look at that monkey run!" man 2 "Huh, Joyce Myers and Rob Bell fighting again?"
ReplyDelete"We've been roundin' up all the Calvinists in town and puttin' 'em in here. Look at 'em over there. They keep using words like super-laps...an-ism - or, uh - try-purse...pursep...ive...peckiv - aw heck, what ever it is. They gotta be possessed, right with all that demon talk? You kin cast out them demons, can't ye, preacher?"
ReplyDeleteThere's the hole over there. Ever since the prison hired that new Calvinist chaplain, the town's people have been tunneling under the fence to come hear him. They say that they've never heard Gospel sermons like this before.
ReplyDeleteLike!
Delete"See that spot there? yeah right there to the left, that is where Paul was beheaded. Ain't that awesome?"
ReplyDelete"Give it up, Wally. You're NEVER going to convince me that Paul McCartney is DEAD."
Andy points Charles to the "emerging" horizons for the SBC.
ReplyDeleteHe showed Mark the way to the bathroom, but Mark had already gone as he saw Rick Warren in a purple people eater costume.
ReplyDeleteNo pulpit, the pastor is dressed like us, and a rock band? What IS this?
ReplyDeleteNo pulpit, the pastor is dressed like us, and a rock band? What IS this?
ReplyDelete"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ, that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you." I Cor 9:19-23
ReplyDeleteOnce again Evangelist points the way.
"I appeal to you for my child Onesimus.....
ReplyDelete