Atheist Devotional Book #5

Yet another pathetic, preposterous page to ponder.

(note - this is Faye's seventh husband's funeral...not the fifth who was eaten by a bear.)

In the reception line at my husband's funeral, I privately prided myself for remaining dry-eyed. I graciously greeted the guests and thanked them for having come, so perfectly poised that people remarked, "My, you're taking this well."

"Well," I would tell them, "he WAS JUST A CARBON BASED UNIT THAT HAD HIS ELECTRICAL IMPULSES SMASHED OUT BY A TWO TON ROCK!.....HELLO!"

I have no patience with "sweetness"....and these were fellow atheists! Stupid morons.

Then, two days later, while I was going through my former husband's belongings, I came across a small voodoo doll pincushion that looked a great deal like me. In fact, a lock of my hair was taped to it's scrawny little head! That idiot was practicing voodoo in my own home, I tells ya!

I got in my car and drove for an hour, back to the burial site where that brainless buffoon was buried and poured ten gallons of grass killer and gasoline on his "resting place". I stepped back about twenty feet and lit a Roman candle. It didn't take long for that site to erupt in billowing flames.

"Take THAT ya voodoo-practicing monkey!"

The police arrived ten minutes later and I explained to them that some Christian teenagers were defacing my husband's cemetery plot! They believed every word. 

When this dies down, I'll be going back to do some more damage. Framing Christians is not a bad way to help our cause. Try it today!