Jude Grandy, long-time president of the deacon board at King James Independent Baptist Church and self-appointed chairman of the church discipline committee, was in his usual chair for the deacon board meeting. On a discussion of a possible evangelism campaign, many deacons were against it, but among those for it, young Finney Ridley, in his first year as a deacon, chimed into the discussion with, "Well no one can save themselves."
Jude Grandy glowered at him and scolded, "That sounds too much like Total Depravity! That heresy is straight from the pit of hell. It has so permeated the church, and it gets people so warped in their thinking that they can't even understand on their own that they need to choose Jesus on their own free will. Mind me, Finney, you'll do well to follow your namesake, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, and forget that nonsense - or we'll make you forget it!"
Judge me? I'll judge you AND put you in the slammer!
ReplyDeleteJude Grandy, long-time president of the deacon board at King James Independent Baptist Church and self-appointed chairman of the church discipline committee, was in his usual chair for the deacon board meeting. On a discussion of a possible evangelism campaign, many deacons were against it, but among those for it, young Finney Ridley, in his first year as a deacon, chimed into the discussion with, "Well no one can save themselves."
ReplyDeleteJude Grandy glowered at him and scolded, "That sounds too much like Total Depravity! That heresy is straight from the pit of hell. It has so permeated the church, and it gets people so warped in their thinking that they can't even understand on their own that they need to choose Jesus on their own free will. Mind me, Finney, you'll do well to follow your namesake, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, and forget that nonsense - or we'll make you forget it!"
It dawned on the unjust judge that the persistent widow was only getting warmed up.
ReplyDeleteEddie can tell that this is a judgemental judge.
ReplyDeleteThe absolute epitome.
Delete...and even though he goes through many trials, he likes to announce his convictions.
Delete...as he slams his gavel on the bench!
DeleteThanks for your participation everyone! These were laughable (in the best way)!
ReplyDeleteJudge Knott was not happy that he was being judged
ReplyDeleteJudge Knott, that's great!
ReplyDelete