I am depressed, melancholy and a little heavyhearted right now. You see, my best friend, Kenny Lumpkin, is now a member of Rob Bell's church. He also stole seven grand from me and left the mustard out when he last visited. I live in on the tenth floor of an apartment building so don't tell me to build a stupid barn!
Thanks for your advice in advance,
Harvey Topeka
Dear Harvey,
I know not who this Rob Bell fellow is but, names mean something. And who could trust someone who "steals a metal object shaped like an upside down cup that makes a noise when its sides are hit with a metal piece inside it"? Don't worry, friend... I will build a tiny barn out of Lincoln Logs and have it delivered to your address by horse and buggy. You can thank me later.
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