I told joos guys that the theme for the praise singers this week was 50's crooners and what do you do? You show up as 3 greasers and a cop? Geese Louise!
"Ok, I admit it, our tithes are always higher when you fellows are assigned to take up the collection. But Officer Johnson here has informed me that there have been too many complaints."
Now you boys listen and you listen good! This here is Infralapsarian turf and you know it! Officer Finney and I are not going to have you Supralapsarians comin' around causing another theological ruckus like the last time yous guys were over here. Now scram!!!
You Young Restless Reformed guys weren't born in Truly Reformed City and you can't be a part of our club. But if you will agree to take off those Brian McLaren jackets and put on argyle sweaters, remove your tattoos and listen only to Bach, I might be able to convince officer Smith here to let you call yourselves Reformed wannabes.
By the way, the only reason you weren't accepted in Emergentville is because you don't have the right hair and glasses.
1. "You hold it right there, young man. That 'I was predestined to break the speed limit' excuse doesn't fly around here anymore."
ReplyDelete2. "Now remember: Infiltrating the FreeWeelers' gang will take a lot more than just looking the part."
That is when the Pastor told the youth pastor, "It may draw the kids into the church, but the insurance doesn't cover sliding on the banisters."
ReplyDeleteI told joos guys that the theme for the praise singers this week was 50's crooners and what do you do? You show up as 3 greasers and a cop? Geese Louise!
ReplyDelete"Ok, I admit it, our tithes are always higher when you fellows are assigned to take up the collection. But Officer Johnson here has informed me that there have been too many complaints."
ReplyDelete"Now you guys listen to me! the land-lady specifically said that members of 80's group 'A-ha' are NOT allowed on the premises!"
ReplyDeleteHEY! LISTEN UP JONAS BROTHERS! You need to play at least ONE gospel song tonight! That way the congregation will know you are on your way to Heaven!
ReplyDeleteI'm tellin you boys that's not the stairway to heaven but the stairway to Madam Fifi's girls and officer Jim is here to stop you.
ReplyDeleteI've been tipped off that one of you is a cop and, by God, I'm going to find out which of you it is.
ReplyDeleteNow you boys listen and you listen good! This here is Infralapsarian turf and you know it! Officer Finney and I are not going to have you Supralapsarians comin' around causing another theological ruckus like the last time yous guys were over here. Now scram!!!
ReplyDelete"Oh, Bobby......when I said "get some friends together for some grueling evangelism," I din't mean that grueling."
ReplyDeleteYou Young Restless Reformed guys weren't born in Truly Reformed City and you can't be a part of our club. But if you will agree to take off those Brian McLaren jackets and put on argyle sweaters, remove your tattoos and listen only to Bach, I might be able to convince officer Smith here to let you call yourselves Reformed wannabes.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, the only reason you weren't accepted in Emergentville is because you don't have the right hair and glasses.
I told you "ALL" doesn't always mean "ALL". Take the cop for instance...
ReplyDelete