The International Blog Police have contacted me about my site. They said that (1) My blog isn't really a blog. That unless it is in keeping with the International Checklist for Successful Blogging, I do not exist...and (B) Caption Contests should be banned from American soil.
Well, as long as I am paying ten thousand dollars a year to use this "freedom of blogging" right I have as an American citizen, I will continue to blog 'till the cows come home.
...wait a second, someone is at the door...it was a cow. But, not a real one! I spotted the zipper on the back and discovered two International Blog Policemen! I chased them off my property with my bo staff.
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU PEOPLE! These IBP are nothing more than pagans trying to regulate what we Christians are publishing in cyber-space.
All that to say this...until I return home from Colorado. (I have to be back on the job Tuesday) I am trying to find the easy way to keep my blog going. The caption contests have been the most successful! I am exhilarated over the amount of comments and suggestions. So let the IBP do their worst! I WILL NOT STAND DOWN! CAPTION CONTESTS WILL CONTINUE!
The winner of this Caption Contest
will be announced on May, 29th
will be announced on May, 29th
Things really got heated over at the local Knights of Columbus council when Joe "the Calvinist" crashed the meeting and started referring to the Catholic Faith as "the cult of the dead woman."
ReplyDeleteEven though other denominations thought that Henry's remix on the "electric slide" was cool, the Baptists were still against it!
ReplyDelete(yes, I am Baptist so don't worry!!)
Maybe those four guys are the Blog police! This photo is a warning to all bloggers! (I know I'm next)
ReplyDeleteThe deacons despaired of getting their dance routine to "Rawhide" ready in time for the church talent show.
ReplyDeleteBetween cracks of a whip and shouts of "BE GONE, PHARISEE!, The elders of the church quoted Mark 11:15 in response to Sam's offer to make change of a dollar for the service man to buy a Twix bar from the church vending machine.
ReplyDeleteUpon introductions poor Manny Changer was unprepared for the scriptures to be fulfilled a second time: Zeal for your house has consumed me.
ReplyDeleteIn accordance with 1 Corinthians 4:21 the elders gave the heretic two choices.
ReplyDeleteHe insulted them, and realized too late they were Calvinists.
[1 cor 4:21 What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?]
Or to rephrase Phil's brilliant last, 'When the deacons confronted Rhett about hermeneutical method in his last sermon, he became tragically aware that they held to an irreconcilably literal interpretation of what he took to be metaphor in 1 Corinthians 4:21.'
ReplyDeleteAfter the third failed attempt to make the act of whipping the pastor look authentic, the elders decided to drop the sermon series entitled, "What you do to the pastor, you can do to Satan."
ReplyDeleteDesiring to reach an entirely new level of relevance to the world, the praise singers dove into a rendition of Devo's classic hit, Crack that Whip, acting out the imagery so that no one would be left wondrering whether there was any association between the song and anything scriptural... and alas, there was none.
ReplyDelete