"Yes, George, I know I'm meant to be submissive to my husband, but I refuse to wear that ridiculous looking hat for Mrs. Fairfax's afternoon tea outing. No, dear, it is not a fancy dress party and it simply would not go with my new outfit. Please, be reasonable darling, Paul didn't mean I had to submit to your taste in hats, did he? If you must find a use for it, put it with the other offering baskets; last year's is looking decidedly worn out. Thank you dear, I'm sure it was very thoughtful of you, but next time, take me along with you and I'll choose one that is more suitable. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must hurry or I shall be late and I do not wish to make a scene. Very well, George, we'll discuss it later. Goodbye dear, my carriage awaits."
These knitted head coverings are all the rage, Madam. Each one is handmade from a pattern designed by the Apostle Paul. We have a copy of the scroll in the back room to prove it.
And you will notice madam, that my hands are empty, except for this perfectly ordinary hat, which contains no stones whatsoever. Wait a minute, you're the Wicked Witch of the West! As a theonomist, I will now remove the stones cleverly hidden in the lining of this hat for the purposes of harmless illusion, and proceed to stone you for sorcery!
Ms West, you claim you are innocent as a flying monkey. Well, I will prove to the court that this hat was pulled over the eyes of Roger Olson when he wrote his book against Calvinism.
"Yes, George, I know I'm meant to be submissive to my husband, but I refuse to wear that ridiculous looking hat for Mrs. Fairfax's afternoon tea outing. No, dear, it is not a fancy dress party and it simply would not go with my new outfit. Please, be reasonable darling, Paul didn't mean I had to submit to your taste in hats, did he? If you must find a use for it, put it with the other offering baskets; last year's is looking decidedly worn out. Thank you dear, I'm sure it was very thoughtful of you, but next time, take me along with you and I'll choose one that is more suitable. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must hurry or I shall be late and I do not wish to make a scene. Very well, George, we'll discuss it later. Goodbye dear, my carriage awaits."
ReplyDeleteThese knitted head coverings are all the rage, Madam. Each one is handmade from a pattern designed by the Apostle Paul. We have a copy of the scroll in the back room to prove it.
ReplyDeleteAnd you will notice madam, that my hands are empty, except for this perfectly ordinary hat, which contains no stones whatsoever. Wait a minute, you're the Wicked Witch of the West! As a theonomist, I will now remove the stones cleverly hidden in the lining of this hat for the purposes of harmless illusion, and proceed to stone you for sorcery!
ReplyDeleteFeeling delightfully evil, Samantha and Samuel Robins decide to see if their pastor will believe their story about the hat belonging to John Calvin.
ReplyDeleteMs West, you claim you are innocent as a flying monkey. Well, I will prove to the court that this hat was pulled over the eyes of Roger Olson when he wrote his book against Calvinism.
ReplyDeleteSupra wants to switch hats with Infra to confuse the logical order of their eternal decrees.
ReplyDeleteNo Sir, I'm not going to raise my tithing for the new curtains in church. This sample you're showing me .....? Wrong colour.
ReplyDelete