Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Balloon Fill #1

Congratulations Jim Payer
Your entry won by just a "hay-er"
(that's hair with a southern accent)

The rules are simple as Pi. Keep it theological. Don't overfill the balloons. (the Richard Boone looking dude in the yellow shirt will NOT be saying more than the other guy...and he will not be saying more than a one or two sentences.) The winner will be given credit, his dialog will appear in the picture, and he or she will receive the Calvinistic Cartoons Home Edition game on their 90th birthday!

Just for Laughs #237

On the battlefield, captions are of major importance. Bring 'em on.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Just for Laughs #236

Don't isolate yourself from the world...write a caption!

Believe It or Get Out #2



Benjamin Bronkhorst Finney was instrumental in starting the first All-Arminian Church of the We're Not Huguenots and Never Will Be Fellowship of John the Revelator Apostolic Assembly and Half-Full Gospel Missionary Catherdral of Free Will Saints and Agape Day Care Center.
He once  traveled over five hundred miles  just to glove-slap a Calvinist who was washing pots and pans in the Church cafeteria.
His persecution of Calvinists was known throughout the land. He was the first Arminian to build straw men and shoot arrows in them. In every town he visited he left a straw man behind with this warning: Confess Freedom or be Imprisoned!
Benjamin Finney believed he would be crowned "King of the Oceans" by Queen Victoria before his 40th birthday. Historical records show that this would have occurred had not Finney tried to ride a zebra in the annual Arminian Alzheimer's Parade in Manchester.
Benjamin Bronkhorst Finney died in the arms of a Calvinist doctor one day before his 40th birthday!   

Just for Laughs #234

Nip it in the bud with a great caption...or a good one.

Believe It or Get Out #1


Moochie Bonhayden was called "The Creature Preacher". He lived in London in the early part of the 20th century.The Reverend Moochie Bonhayden felt he was called to preach the Gospel to every creature. (see Mark 16:15 KJV) He would visit the Glens and the Dales, and when finished visiting those families, he would stroll into a park, forest or zoo. He tried his best to preach in the language of the animals and use verses that would interest their kind. He was bitten countless times by angry squirrels who must have resented him sticking his head in their tree. One summer he almost drowned when he attempted to baptize a hippopotamus and her baby. Rev. Bonhayden tried to enlist several praying mantises to support his work. Only one was faithful. Moochie named him, Sparky, and carried him everywhere in his hat. It was evident early on, that the Creature Preacher would probably die a horrible death. To everyone's amazement, Moochie Bonhayden lived to be 93. He died in his sleep on October 15, 1941. Several tapirs were seen at his wake. Sparky's exoskeleton was buried with him. 

Friday, October 12, 2012

It's a Wonderful Orange

This is the only scene in It's a Wonderful Life where Mr. Orange had a speaking part.

Religious Ties & Cross Purposes #3

This series is a lot like "Who Am I?". Each personality claims to be a believer. I ain't sayin' they is or they isn't. I am just presenting some interesting facts about these individuals. You'll learn a little and you can always pray for these celebrities. (They need prayer - every one of them) I will post the un-Photoshopped photo when someone guesses their name. Here are the clues:

She is a vocal critic of President Barack Obama, and an active participant in the Tea Party movement.

She is best known for her work on TV.

She grew up in a TV-free environment in Miami.

Writer, songwriter, musician, stand-up comic


Just for Laughs #233

Now looky heah, we need a caption...a goooooood caption!

In Search of a New Robin

Thanks to Gouda Gauman for sending this Batman page to our offices in Kuwait. Of course, our policy is to send a $7,000 check to those we decide to publish. It's on it's way Gouda! Thanks for being a loyal fan of Calvinistic Cartoons when so many are taking the fast track of Facebook and not looking back. We appreciate you and those who continue reading this blog.

Eternal Weather Report from Last Year

This ran last year in October...and it's still true!

It's Laughable

The reason the Mertz Church never happened

Christian - Please Read Before You Vote

Biblical Christianity: This election's choice: Romney, third-party (=Obam...: Preface: the original version  of this post helped save some people from making a horrible mistake in the last Presidential election. This e...

Lincoln's Friend - Mr. O

This photo was discovered recently, with this page from the Lincoln Logs (a journal Abe kept under his pillow):

I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on the earth. Whether I shall ever be better I can not tell; I awfully forebode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible; I only hope my old friend, Mr. Orange, can cheer me up today. We have a conference scheduled and a photo shoot around noon. He always knows how to make me forget my troubles for a while. I need the fellowship. I am looking forward to our meeting and can only wish that someday, somehow, he will be featured on Facebook or on the Calvinistic Cartoons blog.