I tell ya, doll, I've just about had it with those crazy Arminians beatin' me up over some silly flower. I told'em my name was John Calvin and this is what I get. Sheesh!
I've been up for a whole week straight, see, checking all the angles, see...and based on all of Bell's research and knowledge of the Scriptures, you don't have anything to worry about doll; there ain't no Hell.
After smoking eighty-five cigarettes, Basil finally gets up enough nerve to ask Hazel, "Um...If you died, and God asked you, 'Why should I let you into heaven, what would you say?' "
Man: Ok Mabel, I've been thinkin' bout your proposition of offering me yer heart forever but after smoking all dees cigarettes I've decided to remain a semipelagian...as a matter of fact, I'd rather fight than switch...
I tell ya, doll, I've just about had it with those crazy Arminians beatin' me up over some silly flower. I told'em my name was John Calvin and this is what I get. Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteI've been up for a whole week straight, see, checking all the angles, see...and based on all of Bell's research and knowledge of the Scriptures, you don't have anything to worry about doll; there ain't no Hell.
ReplyDeleteHarold had just spent all night reading "Love Wins" over and over again trying to locate a speck of orthodoxy. He failed.
ReplyDeleteIf I knew seminary was this hard I woulda been a televangelist. At least they don't require decent theology.
ReplyDelete"Thanks for the book, but who's Rob Bell?"
ReplyDeleteDear, we were going to reenact that "Kiss Me" song by Sixpence none the Richer and cross over to secular ratio, not "Kick Me."
ReplyDelete"I finished Love Wins, honey... Bell's proclivity for theological incoherency has boggled my brain and mussed my hair."
ReplyDelete@Michael: Love the last one. :)
ReplyDelete"Corky's here, honey. He wants to talk to you about that book."
ReplyDeleteGood one!
ReplyDeleteAfter smoking eighty-five cigarettes, Basil finally gets up enough nerve to ask Hazel, "Um...If you died, and God asked you, 'Why should I let you into heaven, what would you say?' "
ReplyDeleteWhat you talkin about Willa?!
ReplyDeleteRob Bell is NOT a Calvinist!
Man: Ok Mabel, I've been thinkin' bout your proposition of offering me yer heart forever but after smoking all dees cigarettes I've decided to remain a semipelagian...as a matter of fact, I'd rather fight than switch...
ReplyDeleteHow can love win like this? Why did Jesus die if it doesn't matter?
ReplyDelete