Remember Johnson, this is the book you need to grab once you get in. We need to see what new things that has been devised by those Calvinists and their leader Eddie Eddings.
And Johnson, since you chose to do this mission knowing the danger, you are free to abort right up to the time you make your decision to commit.
So although Calvinists claim that God is 100% sovereign in man's salvation, we Arminians know from the Bible that man's free choice contributes only this much to his salvation, so we're really only impugning God's sovereignty a very little bit...
"You see, Nicodemus, when Jon and Eddie and I wrote this book, we knew guys like you would come under cover of darkness to explain your struggle with fighting against the truths in the book. That's why we set up this screening bunker so people like you could ask questions without fear of reprisal from your Arminian friends.
Wait! That's Jon on the phone - he calls every time we climb above 2,000,000 on the Amazon charts!"
Please remove or disregard the first version of the caption I just posted. I should have examined more closely what the book really is. (And now I'd like to read it!) Sorry. :) (So that's "ready, shoot, aim..." No, how does that sequence go, again?)
Sincerely, Mike Mittelstadt (A Calvinist and fan of fine humor.)
If Knute Rockne and George Gipp ever watched an 8mm film about a book it would be this one. The only thing is that I cannot figure out why they are watching in the bedroom....And how old is Corkey anyway?
“The humans do not start from that direct perception of Him which we, unhappily, cannot avoid. They have never known that ghastly luminosity, that stabbing and searing glare which makes the background of permanent pain to our lives.”
Rod "Jerry" Olsen says: So as you can see, my young impressionable student, when my book "Against Calvinism" comes out this fall it will replace that one on the screen. The titles sound similar, but mine is a totally different title because, unlike those Calvinists, I CHOSE the title of my book. They would probably say that their title was predestined or something silly like that. I just hope nobody picks up their book thinking it is my book.
Wormwood, you're not getting the point. Of COURSE the whole thing is silly. However, the wonderful thing is this: Calvin, Finney? Doesn't matter! Such a delicious distraction. Gahead. Get the book and you'll see what I mean.
OK, here's what I'm tryin' to say, I'm only a couple years older than you and after I read this book, well, look what happened to me. See, don't go readin' this book.
Remember Johnson, this is the book you need to grab once you get in. We need to see what new things that has been devised by those Calvinists and their leader Eddie Eddings.
ReplyDeleteAnd Johnson, since you chose to do this mission knowing the danger, you are free to abort right up to the time you make your decision to commit.
"So, you see what kind of Calvinistic shennanigans we are up against. What do you think?"
ReplyDelete"I didn't know that 8 mm projectors still existed."
"So, Jimmy, have you even read this book?"
ReplyDelete"No sir."
"So why are we recommending it?"
"Well, sir, look at the great title! Against Calvinism - oh, the joy that floods my soul!"
"Hmm, oh, alright. Still...that Eddie Eddings sounds...familiar."
"I'm sure it's just coincidence, sir."
So although Calvinists claim that God is 100% sovereign in man's salvation, we Arminians know from the Bible that man's free choice contributes only this much to his salvation, so we're really only impugning God's sovereignty a very little bit...
ReplyDelete"You see, Nicodemus, when Jon and Eddie and I wrote this book, we knew guys like you would come under cover of darkness to explain your struggle with fighting against the truths in the book. That's why we set up this screening bunker so people like you could ask questions without fear of reprisal from your Arminian friends.
ReplyDeleteWait! That's Jon on the phone - he calls every time we climb above 2,000,000 on the Amazon charts!"
"But here's a REAL projection, Smithers: The truth will outlast Arminianism --and even this newfangled technology."
ReplyDeletePlease remove or disregard the first version of the caption I just posted. I should have examined more closely what the book really is. (And now I'd like to read it!) Sorry. :)
ReplyDelete(So that's "ready, shoot, aim..." No, how does that sequence go, again?)
Sincerely,
Mike Mittelstadt
(A Calvinist and fan of fine humor.)
If Knute Rockne and George Gipp ever watched an 8mm film about a book it would be this one. The only thing is that I cannot figure out why they are watching in the bedroom....And how old is Corkey anyway?
ReplyDelete“The humans do not start from that direct perception of Him which we, unhappily, cannot avoid. They have never known that ghastly luminosity, that stabbing and searing glare which makes the background of permanent pain to our lives.”
ReplyDeleteRod "Jerry" Olsen says: So as you can see, my young impressionable student, when my book "Against Calvinism" comes out this fall it will replace that one on the screen. The titles sound similar, but mine is a totally different title because, unlike those Calvinists, I CHOSE the title of my book. They would probably say that their title was predestined or something silly like that. I just hope nobody picks up their book thinking it is my book.
ReplyDelete"So you're marketing to Arminians? Well, the title about says it."
ReplyDeleteWormwood, you're not getting the point. Of COURSE the whole thing is silly. However, the wonderful thing is this: Calvin, Finney? Doesn't matter! Such a delicious distraction. Gahead. Get the book and you'll see what I mean.
ReplyDeleteRich Kennedy
Angry, kinda annoying, "Who is this guy? We gotta find out!"
ReplyDeleteEarnestly,"Well sir, apparently he's written a book."
Sarcastically, "You're very observant No. 2"
OK, here's what I'm tryin' to say, I'm only a couple years older than you and after I read this book, well, look what happened to me. See, don't go readin' this book.
ReplyDelete