Soon after his horrific ski accident and ordination as a Mormon priest Otto Van Pantsonfire announced that he had discovered a supposedly missing golden tablet. With the help of a Moronic Angel, Otto was also able to locate a seeing stone by which he was able to decipher the hidden message. According to the tablet, Joseph Smith was actually supposed to relocate himself and his followers to Spain and rename that country Utah. Immediately after that he was to turn the border of Spain and France into the worlds largest and longest kissing both. Upon the completion of the kissing both border he was to build the worlds largest club house utilizing the entire city of Stasbourg all for the world only 18,000 hole golf course. Shortly there after Smith was to dig a 2,700 mile trench and name it Old Man River as a salute to his all time favorite 1927 stage production of Show Boat in addition to being an homage to the current President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (all prophetically of course) . At present Otto is keeping the rest of the table's plans for China and Mongolia under his hat since they seem a little over the top in his opinion.
You know of course the rest of the world (that's us) thinks that Americans are somewhat liberal in their geography, and laugh about it behind their backs, right?
I am acutely aware of that fact. Geography is not the subject most Americans (that's me) would tackle. American geography is difficult enough. I just know that all of North America was once known as Texas.
A fun stereotype not at all reinforced by one of your lot's (Americans) asking me (Brit/Safrican) in the YMCA in Cape Town, South Africa, in 1971 where he should go to see wild kangaroos. "Go to the zoo," I said. "Call its mother a convict and it'll be livid."
Emergent Church School geography teacher Dr. P.E.R. Turbed shows his class how in his reality Utah exists in Europe instead of the USA. This way the Mormons can be closer to the home church of revisionist Theology in Rome.
Tomorrow, he will show the class how the Tower of Babel is located in Southern California...
Mormon missionary I.B. Rong points to the map as proof that the Apostle Paul did indeed plant churches in Utah during his 4th missionary journey. It is reported that he even booked passage with the same cruise line used by Jonah while fleeing the presence of God.
Soon after his horrific ski accident and ordination as a Mormon priest Otto Van Pantsonfire announced that he had discovered a supposedly missing golden tablet. With the help of a Moronic Angel, Otto was also able to locate a seeing stone by which he was able to decipher the hidden message. According to the tablet, Joseph Smith was actually supposed to relocate himself and his followers to Spain and rename that country Utah. Immediately after that he was to turn the border of Spain and France into the worlds largest and longest kissing both. Upon the completion of the kissing both border he was to build the worlds largest club house utilizing the entire city of Stasbourg all for the world only 18,000 hole golf course. Shortly there after Smith was to dig a 2,700 mile trench and name it Old Man River as a salute to his all time favorite 1927 stage production of Show Boat in addition to being an homage to the current President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (all prophetically of course) .
ReplyDeleteAt present Otto is keeping the rest of the table's plans for China and Mongolia under his hat since they seem a little over the top in his opinion.
I just knew that picture had a lot more history than I could have imagined. Thanks for digging up the facts, Mike.
ReplyDeleteEddie,
ReplyDeleteYou know of course the rest of the world (that's us) thinks that Americans are somewhat liberal in their geography, and laugh about it behind their backs, right?
I am acutely aware of that fact. Geography is not the subject most Americans (that's me) would tackle. American geography is difficult enough. I just know that all of North America was once known as Texas.
ReplyDeleteso THAT's why your world series of baseball doesn't include other countries ;-P
ReplyDeleteA fun stereotype not at all reinforced by one of your lot's (Americans) asking me (Brit/Safrican) in the YMCA in Cape Town, South Africa, in 1971 where he should go to see wild kangaroos. "Go to the zoo," I said. "Call its mother a convict and it'll be livid."
ReplyDeleteEmergent Church School geography teacher Dr. P.E.R. Turbed shows his class how in his reality Utah exists in Europe instead of the USA. This way the Mormons can be closer to the home church of revisionist Theology in Rome.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow, he will show the class how the Tower of Babel is located in Southern California...
Mormon missionary I.B. Rong points to the map as proof that the Apostle Paul did indeed plant churches in Utah during his 4th missionary journey. It is reported that he even booked passage with the same cruise line used by Jonah while fleeing the presence of God.
ReplyDelete