The Day of the Open Mic Night

 

Welcome to the very first Open Mic Night! We have a great show for you tonight so just sit back and enjoy these five, bright new comics as they try their best to make you smile. They have worked hard on these entries, so I would ask that you show your appreciation by either sending me several thousands of dollars or applauding after each post.

The first one up is a man who is clever and witty, and I could go on, except I am having a terrible time reading his handwriting...Ladies and gentlemen, I present, the Truthinator!

 

John: I know there are some Emergents around here. The stench of Universalism is in the air!

Dean: I wouldn't be surprised. There's so little Bible knowledge around that people are fallin' for false teachin' left and right.

Ricky: There's a stranger in town from the southern Californy territory givin' out tickets to a garden party. I hear the Jonas Brothers will be singin'.

John: You stay away from those Emergent garden parties, pilgrim.

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Our next comic is a long time blogger. His brother doesn't work either. Here is Rob Marsh...

 

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I could stand up here an hour and talk about our next comic's accomplishments - but only if I talked really, really slow. So without further ado, I present to you, a man who is his own biggest fan, Taylor Meece. 

 

Eddie Eddings decides to fire his only gag writer at Calvinistic Cartoons, because he found out that he was a spy for Arminian Antics and he also never used deodorant.

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Remember folks - I just introduce them. I don't guarantee them.

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And now, a man who has made anonymity a household name...please welcome, Dr. Ralph "Rafe" E. Spraker, Jr., from Columbia, South Carolina!

 

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Before I introduce our last comic, let me remind you that no one is perfect. Last, we have a man who can point to many amazing accomplishments in his lifetime. Unfortunately, none of them are his - I present Geoff Flahardy.

 

Sometimes the Arminian message just doesn't hit home with folks.

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That's it for this evening! It's been MORE than an honor to be your MC tonight...it's been an inconvenience. Thanks for coming and please help clean up a little before you leave. We'll be back soon if the creek don't rise and no one sets fire to the building! So until next time ... don't forget to buy da book!