tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post8275507251147971581..comments2023-10-07T18:05:08.760+03:00Comments on Calvinistic Cartoons: Bizarre Things Said in the PulpitEddie Eddingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15864410680077755048noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-13072360550654177482016-12-06T03:07:48.391+03:002016-12-06T03:07:48.391+03:00Dr. Marvin Lewis once prayed in chapel, "Lord...Dr. Marvin Lewis once prayed in chapel, "Lord, forgive us for our falling shorts." Everyone, including me, looked around.Jayaruhhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08027197343662859792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-55873555815735258342015-12-05T09:33:39.956+03:002015-12-05T09:33:39.956+03:00Our pastors have kept bloopers. My favorite is whe...Our pastors have kept bloopers. My favorite is when one made a comment about picking melons from a melon tree.Jim Pembertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01446388434272680014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-66349976518737571862014-02-01T21:36:39.542+03:002014-02-01T21:36:39.542+03:00Just days before I´d decide that my family and I s...Just days before I´d decide that my family and I should leave this particular church, The pastor said that " If you interpret the bible like the Baptists are, you are reading the bible like Satan does!"Carl och Jenny Genet von Wowernhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15839801344292600770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-12118420904200248892011-04-28T23:57:03.949+03:002011-04-28T23:57:03.949+03:00"I've said more stupid thins behind this ..."I've said more stupid thins behind this pulpit than you know of!" - Jack Shcaap, it's on YouTube.mikew116https://www.blogger.com/profile/15904946581928823933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-36271671703200380682011-01-19T06:44:38.821+03:002011-01-19T06:44:38.821+03:00I remember a pastor actually preaching a Mother...I remember a pastor actually preaching a Mother's Day sermon based on "Remember Lot's Wife!" <br /><br />There was some salty seat-of-the-pants preaching at its worst!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-24254584634140200102011-01-19T04:57:21.641+03:002011-01-19T04:57:21.641+03:00I heard a Methodist minister guesting in the C of ...I heard a Methodist minister guesting in the C of E say "As Martin Luther KING said in the 15th century..." 15th?!!!!<br /><br />Helen,EnglandAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-38354757618174807612010-10-22T04:30:05.818+03:002010-10-22T04:30:05.818+03:00Last Sunday I was preaching on Psalm 32. I propose...Last Sunday I was preaching on Psalm 32. I proposed that there existed three elements of blessing in that text. When I came to the second:<br /><br />"Now the second blessing...umm...the second promise...."Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06572138440665231888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-74427907978271107892010-10-16T23:29:19.360+03:002010-10-16T23:29:19.360+03:00This is what happens when youth pastors are engros...This is what happens when youth pastors are engrossed in pop-culture. He was substituting for the senior Pastor one Sunday morning when he referred, not once; not twice, but THREE TIMES, to the Shania glory of God.hymns that preachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14456829104120421972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-1629109978111907452010-10-16T10:19:14.412+03:002010-10-16T10:19:14.412+03:00Okay, I have to mention this. Another blog posted ...Okay, I have to mention this. Another blog posted a video of a preacher, with very nice cuff links, preaching a sermon on how God is going to bring judgment upon America because of non-tithers.Eddie Eddingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15864410680077755048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-16585129108362386272010-10-15T08:47:53.326+03:002010-10-15T08:47:53.326+03:00*facepalm* oh trust one of us to say that. Us Auss...*facepalm* oh trust one of us to say that. Us Aussies are pretty heretical :-PPatiencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17153561978053916808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-35099796407582176802010-10-15T07:51:07.217+03:002010-10-15T07:51:07.217+03:00Some years ago while attending a conference (I did...Some years ago while attending a conference (I didn't know it then, but it was organised by mainly health-and-wealth and word-faith people), the Australian guest preacher shouted, "God is a party animal!"NCCnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-87035531721639058822010-10-15T01:13:02.966+03:002010-10-15T01:13:02.966+03:00I just remembered these. My brain tried to elimina...I just remembered these. My brain tried to eliminate the memories to protect itself:<br /><br />- The miracle at Cana was the accelerated process of photosynthesis.<br /><br />- Adam handed the title deed to the universe to Satan when he fell.<br /><br />- God doesn't need to train us like a father. He just nurtures us like a mother.<br /><br />And the worst one - "God doesn't care about your repentance."Persishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17686511618515789601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-6984452511098292962010-10-14T16:28:54.612+03:002010-10-14T16:28:54.612+03:00Once while preaching, I was using an illustration ...Once while preaching, I was using an illustration of how an ultrasound views the unborn baby. Problem was, instead of saying ultrasound, I kept repeating mammogram. The guys didn't get it, but I got strange looks from the ladies.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-14985270805198650992010-10-14T15:36:26.177+03:002010-10-14T15:36:26.177+03:00Yes, at a funeral, a pastor who preached "The...Yes, at a funeral, a pastor who preached "The Prosperity Gospel" was having hard time to explain why his best friend and "Worship leader" died of cancer. He said:<br /><br />"God talked to me last night and said 'I asked ____if he wanted to stay with me or go back with you all; he chose staying with me"<br /><br />And the people gathered said "Amen!" (even the wife!)Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06316091397642506393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-86864230518611606662010-10-14T14:08:25.427+03:002010-10-14T14:08:25.427+03:00Firstly: Warren that is pure genius!
Secondly: I ...Firstly: Warren that is pure genius!<br /><br />Secondly: I have heard some cringe worthy stuff in my time.<br />Before I got saved I was visiting a church and I noticed they locked the doors during the service...also the preacher delighted in proclaiming that Jesus/God was not in certain churches in our city anymore. He "named and shamed" them. It was a hugely "fluffy/airy fairy" church I'd like to add.<br /><br />Just last year, I'd only just finished 1&2 Thess at Bible School, I heard a preacher speak about how it's the Church that is "holding back the evil". I think he was actually using the verses about the Holy Spirit keeping it all at bay until the rapture...I got a bit bored and a bit lost to be honest. (Besides thinking I knew everything because I'd just been studying it.)Patiencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17153561978053916808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-64298309034309838112010-10-14T06:11:57.247+03:002010-10-14T06:11:57.247+03:00My father, a pastor, would often get tongue-tied. ...My father, a pastor, would often get tongue-tied. He once announced a meeting for the "young bums". He was also quick. When a young upstart made some snide comments about him when introducing him before his talk at a youth conference, his response was, "I feel like the Philistines at the hands of Samson - slain by the jawbone of an ass."Wamalohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00429423371551631602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-40701527778234248142010-10-14T03:58:59.763+03:002010-10-14T03:58:59.763+03:00When I was in seminary I used a illustration about...When I was in seminary I used a illustration about people calling in a mediator because they could not agree on what color to paint the church. Finding they could not agree the mediator said they should paint it black and go into mourning. I then remarked "We need to do something about the proliferation of black churches in this country." It was not until I heard the giggles of the people in the back that I realized there were two ways this could be taken.Mike Erich the Mad Theologianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04682504413797395786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-52562685723840954432010-10-14T02:26:22.783+03:002010-10-14T02:26:22.783+03:00Once at our Presbyterian Church (USA), the associa...Once at our Presbyterian Church (USA), the associate pastor's "sermon" was a one-man-show where he acted out the story of Jonah. At the part where he was on the ship being swamped with waves, his lapel microphone suddenly went dead. After a moment's hesitation, our new interim pastor noticed the problem and ran up to the stage making swimming motions with his arms, and switched mics with him.stranger.strange.landhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18095085549321636456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-46100396433254576412010-10-14T01:10:59.276+03:002010-10-14T01:10:59.276+03:00I was in UM since my birth (until about 3 years ag...I was in UM since my birth (until about 3 years ago)and yes that does happen. Even stranger things than that happen around commuion in UMC.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-39988072799082015492010-10-13T23:14:05.833+03:002010-10-13T23:14:05.833+03:00Bizarre things are said from the pulpit every time...Bizarre things are said from the pulpit every time Joel Osteen or Rick Warren preach...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-74735697741980130892010-10-13T21:22:10.378+03:002010-10-13T21:22:10.378+03:00Bet you can guess what kind of church this came fr...Bet you can guess what kind of church this came from: ". redeemed mankind has a unique place in the eternal scheme of God because the Bible says that God took of himself; he took something that was innately [inborn, natural] divine and put it into us and we become unique creation. [7:51]<br /><br />Now, the angels, they never had access to that divinity.<br /><br />But anyway, God [8:00] took out of his very essence and he made a man in his own likeness and image. Then he commissioned that man to rule and reign over his favorite planet.<br /><br />So, lucifer rejected the Kingdom of God, Adam was duped. He was tricked and he forfeited the authority and dominion that God called him to. [8:27]<br /><br />Now, that’s being restored today. "Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-775127029565626442010-10-13T20:12:42.661+03:002010-10-13T20:12:42.661+03:00I was once at a Second Chapter of Acts concert (I ...I was once at a Second Chapter of Acts concert (I truly love their music - Matthew Ward has one of the greatest singing voices, ever.) where after the concert Buck Herring (Annie Herring's husband and, I think, the band manager) shared the Gospel. He then asked whoever wanted to receive Jesus Christ as their Savior to stand to their feet. I remember a dozen or so stood to their feet. Then he said something about having the keys of the kingdom and pointed to each one saying, "I now declare you to be saved and part of the kingdom!".Eddie Eddingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15864410680077755048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-70541550211257782392010-10-13T20:09:15.831+03:002010-10-13T20:09:15.831+03:00A mime is a terrible thing to waste.
....sorry....A mime is a terrible thing to waste.<br /><br /><br /><br />....sorry.Eddie Eddingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15864410680077755048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-9126181539602553732010-10-13T19:55:43.198+03:002010-10-13T19:55:43.198+03:00My pastor ended a sermon by inviting a mime on sta...My pastor ended a sermon by inviting a mime on stage to do an interpretive dance.Anthonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05262963620606499940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882165486994692239.post-72467062292786697082010-10-13T19:38:36.614+03:002010-10-13T19:38:36.614+03:00I attended a United Methodist church once and, pri...I attended a United Methodist church once and, prior to distribution of the Lord's Supper, the only admonition that they gave (no I Cor. 11) was the warning of, "Only partake of this meal if you are a Christian, or thinking of becoming one"(?!)<br /><br />"Thinking of becoming one"? That sounded bizarre to me, but is that normal for UM churches?Robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13068196575763786944noreply@blogger.com