Sunday, May 29, 2011

Random Word Writing Challenge #11.5


Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.

Election!


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Up to my Helmet in Trouble

Some may have noticed my absence the past few days. I wasn't able to log on to my Google account. I couldn't post or comment on either of my blogs and my navigation bar had disappeared. I did everything I could to correct this problem to no avail. I thought I was a goner. The thought crossed my mind that Nigel Pettibone or Benny Finney may have hacked into my site and messed with my settings. I cleaned out the cookies and the cache. (I don't need the cookies, being a little overweight...but, who doesn't need the cache!) All roads led to dead end after dead end. As a last resort, I switched from Google Chrome to Mozilla Firefox and now things are working properly again. Whew! I don't deserve the mercy but, I am glad to be back on!

Arminian Antics #54


Saturday, May 21, 2011

A Little Drama

Letter from follower #300


Mr. Eddings,
My name is Frito Don Barley. I was your number 300 for about two weeks...until, I spotted something in the archives I didn't agree with! No, I am not an Arminian. I am a Calvinist who is serious about laughter. Call me Inspector General if you must, but your humor is as lame as your helmet. The correct formula for a humor blog, if you indeed call yourself a Christian, is 23% meaningful cartoons with 12% satire and 65% solid theology with footnotes or links. You have failed my standard and I have withdrawn my name from your roster, sir. Get with the program ya little runt. I will pray for you and your kind.

Here's hoping you'll grow up,
Frito Don Barley,
I.G. for Blogger Business Week

P.S. Woe to the next looney tune that signs up as a regular.

Not in That Camp

Arminian Antics #53


Friday, May 20, 2011

WARNING!


Omens

Criminals may be a superstitious lot, but Christians should not be looking for omens for direction. Do you know someone who is superstitious? Maybe checking their horoscopes daily or believe in ghosts. What advice would you give someone who is always looking for an omen or a sign from God? (and I'm not talking about Biblical prophetic signs -- I'm talking about someone who can't move unless they receive a "signal" form above.) 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Fan Photo from Poochie Montoya

Thanks for the comic panels from a DC comic (that's DC for Democratic Charismatics) that strangely has some parallels to a certain blogger. This comic strip was originally printed in 1967, as a short story, in a magazine entitled, Ticket to Trouble, and the lead character was named, Eddie Headings. 
Mr. Montoya will be receiving a $7,000 check anytime within the next two month of Sundays. 

Fan Photo from Tabs Maloy

Thanks Tabs Maloy for sending this advertisement from an old 1938 magazine! Calvinistic Cartoons will be sending you a check for $7,000 for your effort. The amazing thing about this ad is that it is still valid! Print the coupon, mail it in and you and your spouse can be making up to sixty extra dollars a week! 

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ad This

This was brought to my attention by Ludloe Manilla, who happened to find
this ad in an old Reformed Farmers magazine. He also sent this link!


Fan Photo from Pappy Windchimes

Thanks, Pappy, for spotting this poster in an abandoned subway station.
We will send $7,000 to you as soon as we get it.

Random Word Writing Challenge #11


Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Google Blogger Banning Calvinistic Cartoons

Because certain people do not like the Calvinistic content of this humor blog, Google Blogger has written me about banning this blog from certain areas. Here is a the email that was sent. I just hope that most of you loyal readers are not living in these parts of the world.

Dear Mr. Eddings
Many readers of a different theological persuasion have informed me of your efforts to ridicule, mock and yes, even bash certain practices in other sects of Christianity. We here at Google Blogger feel that banishment, from certain parts of the world, will be the best way to punish you for your arrogance.
The following areas will not be receiving Calvinistic Cartoons through the miracle of cyber-space:
The Kerguelen Islands;
Alert, Nunavut, Canada;
Tristan da Cunha;
Motuo County, China;
McMurdo Station, Antarctica
and La Rinconada, Peru.  
If your witticisms don't take on a more "user-friendly" attitude we might consider hiring an Arminian ninja to teach you a thing or two.
Thank you and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Mr. Google   

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Overboard


Old Diary Mentions Spurgeon



Caroline Richards
1842 - 1913

Village Life in America

1852—1872
Including the Period of the American Civil War as Told in the Diary of a School-Girl
by Caroline Cowles Richards

Sunday, July 22. 1880—We went to Spurgeon's Tabernacle this morning to listen to this great preacher, with thousands of others. I had never looked upon such a sea of faces before, as I beheld from the gallery where we sat. The pulpit was underneath one gallery, so there seemed as many people over the preacher's head, as there were beneath and around him and the singing was as impressive as the sermon. I thought of the hymn, "Hark ten thousand harps and voices, Sound the notes of praise above." Mr. Spurgeon was so lame from rheumatism that he used two canes and placed one knee on a chair beside him, when preaching. His text was "And there shall be a new heaven and a new earth." I found that all I had heard of his eloquence was true.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Behind the Scenes at CC


Here is a photo taken by our staff photographer, James Olsen, showing what goes on in our monthly meetings at the Calvinistic Cartoons office in Metropolis. I am always ready to pay extra for good ideas from my writers. This is one of our "think tank" sessions where we discuss the future of Calvinistic Cartoons and time travel in general.
The man standing is Bleppo Marx, a man who claims to be related to the Marx Brothers - all except for Zeppo.
The guy holding the glass of Pepsi, is Monroe Ribbits, a former librarian at the Spurgeon Archives.
The man holding the photo of his wife, is Felix Toyota, the author of several books on pancake batter.
Flying to Metropolis every month is expensive and tiring, but I feel it's worth it if you get a laugh or two out of this humble blog that has been traced back to the civil war.
BTW...I don't smoke. I am demonstrating a post situation for the month of June. We  use many props in our think tank sessions. Props with meaning. Props of kindness. Props of love.
Here at Calvinistic Cartoons we value readership and leadership. So we have decided to start reading what we have written and double checking for msplled werds.
I suspect someone in this group is a mole for Arminian Antics. I just haven't been able to figure it out. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Random Word Writing Challenge #10

Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
and please give your piece a TITLE.

On a Given Sunday


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Prayer Alert

Our dear brother, Joel Garner (Joel the Immerser) needs our prayers right now.
Please stop and take a few minutes to lift him up in prayer.


This is from his blog:


"I continue to suffer from dizziness, and it is continually wearing me down. I am very tired, and my mind is quite racked. Hence, I do not know when I will be back to regular blogging; I am doing quite poorly. I have never had constant dizziness last this long - and, I hope I shall not again. In this and all things, though - blessed be the Name of the Lord. No matter what.

Prayers are very, very much appreciated. I will be back whenever I recover/improve (hopefully in more ways than one). God bless you.
In Christ,
Joel Garner ><>.
2 Chronicles 7:14; Romans 5:8."



You might consider posting some encouragement on his blog site also. It would be great to bump up his followers list. That always brings a smile to a blogger's face. Thank you.

Everyone Has to Get into the Act


Calvinistic Cartoons Poetry Corner #2

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Tongue Twister Challenge

Simple rule really...
Create a tongue twister.
Just keep it theological!

From an Old Diary



Caroline Richards
1842 - 1913

Village Life in America


1852—1872
Including the Period of the American Civil War as Told in the Diary of a School-Girl
by Caroline Cowles Richards

April 15. 1865—The news came this morning that our dear president, Abraham Lincoln, was assassinated yesterday, on the day appointed for thanksgiving for Union victories. I have felt sick over it all day and so has everyone that I have seen. All seem to feel as though they had lost a personal friend, and tears flow plenteously. How soon has sorrow followed upon the heels of joy! One week ago to-night we were celebrating our victories with loud acclamations of mirth and good cheer. Now every one is silent and sad and the earth and heavens seem clothed in sack-cloth. The bells have been tolling this afternoon. The flags are all at half mast, draped with mourning, and on every store and dwelling-house some sign of the nation's loss is visible. Just after breakfast this morning, I looked out of the window and saw a group of men listening to the reading of a morning paper, and I feared from their silent, motionless interest that something dreadful had happened, but I was not prepared to hear of the cowardly murder of our President. And William H. Seward, too, I suppose cannot survive his wounds. Oh, how horrible it is! I went down town shortly after I heard the news, and it was wonderful to see the effect of the intelligence upon everybody, small or great, rich or poor. Every one was talking low, with sad and anxious looks. But we know that God still reigns and will do what is best for us all. Perhaps we're "putting our trust too much in princes," forgetting the Great Ruler, who alone can create or destroy, and therefore He has taken from us the arm of flesh that we may lean more confidingly and entirely upon Him. I trust that the men who committed these foul deeds will soon be brought to justice.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Classics #13


Random Word Writing Challenge #9

Write as many paragraphs as you like using the words above.
Entries may be poetry, prose, fiction, essays or interviews.
(or any other form of creatively written expression.)
Just be funny, clever and theological...
Here are your chosen words:
puritan, ants, camel, restaurant
 and please give your piece a TITLE.


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