Friday, October 30, 2009

Gag Me With an Ad


If anyone will post this ad on their own blog, share it with their Facebook friends or pay to have this displayed on a billboard in their home town, I will promise to give you $40,000 dollars when we get to Heaven. Just remind me when we get there because I might forget. Thank you for all your help and support.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Spurgeon in 3-D


Just for Laughs #45


This is an old magazine ad that I suspect
will have more meaning than was first intended.

Real Records You May Have Missed #24


"Did you get the latest Heart Warming record release?"
"No, what's it called?"
"Elmer and June and Pam too introduce Debbie and Shari."
"What kind of music is it?"
"No music...just introductions"
"I'm on my way!"

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

An Open Letter to My Amish Friends


I've noticed that no Amish people write in and comment. What's up with that?! If I have offended the Amish community with my humor, I apologise. In fact, if an Amish leader will just email me, I will help with a barn raising come September of next year! More than that, I will donate twenty five Wii game systems and a used ipod to the first Amish village that becomes followers of Calvinistic Cartoons. I hope you all have a great day and a fabulous Menno-nite!

Fan Photo from Berka Sweeny


I still remember to this very day when this lovely couple burst into my home, knocked me out with my Spurgeon electric lamp and stole all my artwork and a bottle of Paul Sabastian cologne. Thanks Ms Sweeny for this trip down memory lane and locating this old issue of Smithsonian. I will be sending you a check for $10,000 dollars for your trouble.

Real Records You May Have Missed #23


Can you pick out the piano player?
He is the only one with fingers.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Scent of Scholarship


Just for Laughs #44


It's a circus that is either being built up or torn down.
Now how can anyone come up with something with theologically satirical with a photo like that?

Real Records You May Have Missed #22


Someone, somewhere, gave the final approval for this cover. But, to me, it says..."Just try and get past me, young fella, and I'll knock your block off!"

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Dress Like an Arminian

Text and ties can be read better by clicking on any tie.

Real Records You May Have Missed #21


This will be interesting...she's an alto, yet she has multiple voices...maybe she is the female Mel Blanc.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Fan Photo from Munson Viewmaster


Thanks Munson for discovering this old record album at the Two-Sided Record Shop in Manitou Springs, Colorado. I had forgotten about this album because of a head injury I received back in '97. I will be sending you a check for $4,834.56 for your trouble. A great find indeed.

Real Records You May Have Missed #20


Well, calculators were a lot more expensive back then, as were suits that fit well.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

E Slops Fables #4

Just for Laughs #42


Post a caption before he throws it in the fire with all the rest!

Fan Photo from Larlene Hoofenhoffer


Special thanks to Larlene Hoofenhoffer for sending this photo from the Barnyard Raceway in Chepachet, Rhode Island. Yes, Ms Hoofenhoffer, that is my twin brother Freddy Eddings (who looks exactly like my other twin brother, Teddy...my twin sister, Betty Eddings, looks more like my mother) driving on the racetrack. He was eliminated from the race when the officials found out that poured liquid steroids into the gasoline tank before the race and mixed helium with the air in his tires. He will be fined $100 and have his sparkplugs thrown into the Amazon River.
Larlene, I will be sending you a check for $5,000 for your prize winning photo.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

F.L.A.G.


Some members of the John 3:16 Conference have joined together to form a new political group known as F.L.A.G. (For Land And God). The team includes Dr. Jury Vines, Dr. Rich Landowner, Dr. Doolittle, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard and Dr. Doom.
The goal is to examine every country's flag and determine if they should be recognized as "true flags" and if they are worthy to fly over the U.N. building.
Their first official meeting will be on Flag Day (June 14) of 2010, although they have already decided that the flag of Greece be passed with flying colors.
"When I see some flags, red flags pop up in my head", said Dr. Rich Landowner.
When asked if he had ever been to the Holy Land, Dr. Landowner stated that he had actually lived in Dallas, Texas for many many years.
"People think we hate Calvinists", Dr. Jury Vines said while eating an Arminian baloney sandwich, "but, that is just not true. Does the peacock hate the lowly sparrow? Does the Prince of Wales hate the bed mite? Does the King of the Jungle hate the ivory poachers...I am speaking of Tarzan, of course. Nay, nay, I say and I have written a short poem to prove it. It goes like this:

I do not hate the evil man
Who lives a life of ease
I do not hate a scorpion
Who stings me on my knees
I just have to smack 'em down
Smack 'em hard and true
For I am just a humble man
Who knows what I have to do.

Thank you.
See you at the poles!"

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Health and Safety Poster


Created in 1936, this poster still offers good advice.

Conference Buttons #6


fyi...there are "ordinary Arminians" who realize doctrinal differences are here to stay and are open for discussion about such matters. They are still teachable.
And then there are the "ornery Arminians" who would like to see all Calvinists banned from the marketplace. You can't tell them anything.
To such "Theologs" we reply, "Say Cheese!"
Their pictures are taken and they come out blurry every time. That is because they are not yet fully developed as they should be.
These radicals will continue to load their cannons with semi-Pelagian ammo and fire at those Christians who have a particular fondness for tulips.
Hey! Don't blame me...I was predestined to be a Sovereign Grace man!

Real Records You May Have Missed #16


I guess they thought that after they built their flying saucers, Pluto might be a better place to live than the planet Earth.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

How to Minister to Christian Bloggers


Here is how YOU can encourage and minister to Christian bloggers. COMMENT. Yes, saints of God, it is just that simple. I am not talking about my blog particularly (although, I DO include myself) but many out there (some are listed on the right as the blogs I follow) need to know that people are reading and appreciating their labor. And sometimes it is laborious to maintain a blog. Even more encouraging is to become a follower of a blog. Some of these blogs continue without even one comment in months. I would like to point out one - Chronicles of a Chronically Random Girl - Her avatar is Reformed Anonymous Girl in Pain. She is struggling with health issues every minute of the day and can't always blog like she would like. I know a few comments would put a smile on her face. I am not suggesting that you post comments insincerely, I am just suggesting that you take a few minutes, ever so often, and post a comment on someone's blog. (Some blogs already have numerous comments - I am mainly talking about those that get little or none.) Thanks for listening (or reading)...maybe some of you who have never posted a comment will give it a try. As C.H. Spurgeon once said, "If I had a computer I would blog. If I had a blog I would write. If I wrote I would want some response from somebody so that I would forge on in battle...and I would let Eddie Eddings Photoshop pictures for me." Remember, you can encourage someone today by merely typing a few words! Once again, I thank thee for thy kindness.

E Slops Fables #3

Conference Buttons #4


This is one button that hits the button as far as crystallizing
Arminian theology as it has echoed down through the centuries.

Real Records You May Have Missed #14



Is this Bible Story Lady from Oz or from Narnia?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

RPM



FYI...RPM stands for Rabbi, Priest and Minister.

Conference Button #3


Real Records You May Have Missed #13


This album may be the only existing proof that Jim Bakker got his start as a ten-year old youth in the Christian ministry. Under investigation in 1989 they found his puppet licence hidden in the attic along with several toupees and Rolex watches.
In his autobiography, I Was Wrong, Bakker claimed from the beginning that his downfall had been orchestrated by enemies inside and outside his ministry.

"I sorrowfully acknowledge that seven years ago ... I was wickedly manipulated by treacherous former friends and colleagues who victimized me with the aid of a female confederate. They conspired to betray me into a sexual encounter at a time of great stress in my marital life. ... I was set up as part of a scheme to co-opt me and obtain some advantage for themselves over me in connection with their hope for position in the ministry."
 
So Jim Bakker admitted to being a puppet...and he blames everyone else, but never himself.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Everybody Loves Spurgeon


Conference Buttons #2



I know it's been a while since the conference closed their doors but, our Calvinistic Cartoons undercover agent, Tiberius Suggins, was captured and detained in a John 3:16 Convention prison and just recently escaped. We will post his findings as they come in.
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